While everyone was busy watching how fancy Meghan Markle’s wedding would be, millions of Suits fans were disappointed for losing two of the hit show’s leading characters Mike Ross and his lovely girlfriend, Rachel Zane, played by Markle. Since I`m a huge fan of the show who also happens to be a grooming expert, I decided to write a post on the single idea that Suits revolved around… Status.
So here are my favorite three tips for building an impeccable status around people. All backed by science.
Dress to impress as much as you can. Science found that you’ll trust a doctor more if he or she wears a white coat, so it makes sense that you wear the right clothes to inspire trust in people. In fact, some studies believe that by wearing clothes that you associate with certain qualities you will tend to embody those traits.
If you’ve ever heard of the “Halo Effect”, then you must know that people associate traits of kindness, trust, and intelligence with those who are well-dressed and attractive. According to Kurt Mortensen, the bestselling author of, Maximum Influence: The 12 Universal Laws of Power Persuasion, “We naturally try to please people we like and find attractive.”
In 1995, three researchers decided to test the effect of wearing a suit vs. wearing casuals on people. So one of them decided to walk against the traffic lights with and without a suit. Eventually, they realized that when he was dressed in a suit, three-and-a-half times as many people followed him as when he was wearing a work shirt and trousers.
Cambridge defines To maintain a calm demeanor and think clearly in a complicated, stressful, or troubling situation… That`s how high-status people behave. They feel the pressure building up, but they resist reacting to it.
Whenever I feel stressed or angry, I remember that story I heard at a course I attended during high school. It was about the former NYC Mayor, Rudy Giuliani, and how he reacted during the September 11 attacks.
Those working with Giuliani were highly amazed by his relaxed demeanor during one of the most stressful days in America`s recent history. When asked about it, he said one of the early lessons his father gave him was to stay calm under pressure. I still remember his words, and I`ve been using them for years as a mantra for my morning meditation. They were,
When things go crazy, get out of control, and everyone is freaking out, you become calm. In fact, you become the calmest person in the room. Go as far as to become unnaturally calm and focused that you can look at the situation objectively, see what can be done and that everyone looks at you to be the leader.
I’ve been using this mantra for years, and it works. But it’s not the only way to stay calm under pressure. You must be aware of your need to keep calm, and you must do it frequently.
Sit down and feel the tickling but don`t react to it. This is an exercise recommended by Olivia Fox Cabane, author of The Charisma Myth, and she swears by it.
“Every smart person and a stable person I know both walks and meditates.” – Jimmy Fallon
Meditate frequently, and you`ll boss your inner self and anxiety. When his life seemed to fall apart, Arnold Schwarzenegger found the solution in Transcendental Meditation, and it transformed his life and confidence.
• Take cold showers
Cold showers have many health benefits. They can boost your metabolism, and increase alertness, blood circulation and the release of endorphins —aka. The Happiness Hormones. But more importantly, they can teach you self-control and make you a badass.
Immerse yourself in cold water at the end of your daily shower. Then control your breath one by one until you feel calmer. Try it for a month and it will give you poise.
• Control your reactions
Watch a game of your favorite sport and be aware of your emotions. Try to keep your excitement down a notch or two (watch Silvio Berlusconi`s reactions. He`s the one whose team is winning). Notice, this isn`t going to make you a coldhearted, emotionless serial killer overnight. It`s just a way to gain more control over your emotions.
Smiling improves your mood and makes you a more likable person. In fact, even your dog will like you better when you smile, according to studies.
A smile also makes you more charismatic because charisma is merely a mix of both warmth and dominance. There`s a myth among many people that frowning like Kanye and keeping a poker face is much more relaxed than putting a beautiful smile on your lips, but according to a recent study by the University of Arizona, there`s no connection between coolness and concealing your emotions.
“We found over and over again that people are perceived to be cooler when they smile compared to when they are inexpressive in print advertisements,” says Caleb Warren, the study leading author.
But what type of smile should you keep on your face?
A slow, light smile, as you can see from this social study, is what you should aim to create a status whether you`re a man or a woman. According to a 2006 study published in the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, slow onset smiles form the best response regards how a person will see you as attractive, dominant, and trustworthy.
There’s a useful technique for practicing your smile created by Leil Lowndes author of How to Talk to Anyone. Just wait until you make eye contact with the other person before slowly launching a warm smile with your lips slightly open. By doing this, you make your smiles more exclusive which creates warmth and improves your status.