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How To Have It All

A 3-step proven formula to having a life you've always wanted.

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Someone recently asked me, what do I have to do to have it all? She wanted to know how she can have her dream career, how she can create epic relationships, how she can have amazing health, and how she can have an abundant life? How can she have it all? So often, we tend to compare our life to other people’s lives and we convince ourselves that we’re not worthy of having the life we’ve always wanted. We say to ourselves, only other people have amazing, beautiful, fulfilling lives. Well, I’m here to tell you that’s simply not true. You can have it all too! I’m going to share my proven formula that has worked for me.

But, first you need to decide what you want. What does it actually look like? It’s easy to say I want to have it all, but what exactly does your dream life look like? When you look at things like family, health, relationships, spirituality, and career, what does that picture look like to you? What type of career do you want? How do you move through your day? What does your health look like? What kind of abundance do you want to call into your life?

So, the first step in this formula is to get incredibly clear on what it is that you actually desire and want in every area of your life. Your career, your relationships, your health, your spirituality, and your family. You decide which areas are most important in your life and include them in this exercise. You’ll want to grab a journal and pen, and write down what it is that you actually want in every area of your life. Not what your parents want, or your spouse wants, or your friends want, but what YOU really want. What does your dream life look like? If you were to stand up and say what you really want, what does that picture look like to you? Anyone should be able to read your description of your dream life and be able to visualize in vivid detail everything you want and desire for your life. This is the first step to having it all.

Whether you write it down in your journal or you type it out and print it off. Put it somewhere where you can see it every day. Maybe, next to your nightstand so you can read it in the morning when you wake, and again just before you go to bed. Or, perhaps in your office so it’s the first thing you look at before you start your day, and the last thing you see at the end of your day. This helps you stay connected to your vision and helps you stay on your path and not get distracted by things that aren’t relevant or meaningful to the vision you have for your dream life. So that is the first step of this formula. Your action item after reading this blog is to get clear and decide exactly what you want.

The second step to having it all is to whole-heartedly commit to it. So often people will say, how does she have it all. What did she do to get everything she desired? More than likely, she decided to get clear on what she wanted and she committed 100% to creating the life she’s always wanted. When you write down what you want and you regularly look at your vision, you are creating your dream life. But, you need to be ALL IN. You need to whole-heartedly commit to what you want. To your desires. To your dreams. That’s how we get what we truly want in life. So, that is the second step to having it all.

The third step is taking daily inspired action. Without real action, you won’t get what you want. It’s not something that you can wish for and it magically happens. It requires you to take action to reach your vision. This means taking one step every day to move forward. It has to be daily for this to work. This might look like one phone call, one email, or one conversation every single day. This allows you to take one step forward toward your vision. That’s how you create your dream life. If you want amazing health, you have to take one step every day to improve your health. Maybe it’s drinking more water or walking every day or exercising 3 times a week or eating more protein and vegetables. Whatever it is you have to do something every day to work towards improving your health. It doesn’t just happen without you taking one small step every day. If you want epic relationships, you have to take action every day. If you want to have the career of your dreams, you have to take action every day. You can see there’s a theme here. In order to have what you want, you have to take one small step every day towards your dream life. So, that is the third and final step to having it all.

There are 3 steps to this proven formula. Let’s recap. Number one, you have to decide what you want and get incredibly clear with what it looks like. What is it that you actually want in every area of your life? Get crystal clear. Number two, you have to wholly and fully commit to your vision. You’ve got to go ALL IN if you want to have everything you’ve ever desired. And, number three, you have to take inspired action every day. The key is to do something every single day to help you get closer to what you want. That is how you have it all.

Now, let me share some examples to show you how this has worked for me. Many of you know that I’ve been blessed with triplet boys who are almost 20 years old and are sophomores at Penn State. They are my miracle babies, a special gift from God, and the light of my life. I’m so grateful I was chosen to be their mom and I’m so incredibly proud of them.

For all the mamas who tried for months or even years to have a baby, or for those women who are still trying to conceive a baby, this story will resonate with you. Five years into our marriage, we decided that we were ready to start a family. We tried to get pregnant on our own for a year and half, and every month we were disappointed that the month passed without our desired outcome. So, we finally decided to get some help from a fertility specialist and after many tests we agreed that in vitro fertilization was our best option for having a baby.

On our first IVF attempt, we got pregnant! We were ecstatic at the opportunity to become parents and to bring a little one into our family. We quickly discovered that we were having twins and we were over the moon with joy. Our pregnancy was easy and uneventful up until 14 weeks when we had our first big scare. To our surprise, we learned that we were actually having triplets. Yes, that’s right. Triplets! Thankfully all of the babies were developing well. This would be my first of many answered prayers. For the next 4 weeks, I was on limited bedrest as a precaution. Then, at 18 weeks, everything changed. During a routine doctor’s visit, we discovered my cervix was dilating and we had to do an emergency cerclage. After a few days in the hospital, I was sent home on strict bed rest the remainder of my pregnancy. Over the next 4 ½ months, we had multiple scares, several hospital stays, daily medication to minimize contractions and preterm labor, and regular monitoring for my contractions.

If you’ve ever been on bedrest, you know that it’s the most frightening, emotionally exhausting, and incredibly stressful situation. In my case, there were 3 tiny human beings relying on me to help them thrive and grow until they were strong and ready to come into this world. My full-time job, honestly, my most important job ever, was to fuel my body with a high calorie diet so my triplet babies could get bigger and stronger every day, minimize my activity level to reduce the contractions, and keep a positive mindset so I could do the things I needed to do to help the babies stay in my belly for as long as possible. To put this into perspective, I was literally only allowed to get out of bed to go to the bathroom and take a 5 minute shower (while sitting down on a shower stool) for what seemed like the longest 4 ½ months ever. It’s truly amazing to see what you can do with the right mindset, motivation, and support from family and friends. For me, having 3 beautiful, healthy, baby boys was my motivation. It’s everything I’d always dreamed of and so much more.

Recall, I had several hospital stays during my pregnancy to manage the contractions and prevent preterm labor. During my hospital stay at 20 weeks, I vividly remember the day my doctor asked me in the most kind and caring way, so Tasha, what do you want to do? He had suggested that I tour the NICU, that is, the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, before giving him an answer. So we did. We saw babies of every premature stage of life; some who would thrive and survive and some, who may not. It’s certainly a vision that I never imagined when I decided I wanted to become a mom, and one I’ll always remember, as I still pray for those moms and their tiny babies.

When I returned to my hospital room, the doctor came back into my room, sat down on the chair next to my bed, and shared options for us to consider. Then he asked me, so…what do you want to do? Do you want to do everything you possibly can to bring 3 healthy babies into this world? Or, do you want to let things run their course and see what happens? For a mom-to-be who had tried desperately to have a baby for a year and a half, and who had already grown to love her 3 babies for the last 20 weeks, there was only one answer. Do whatever it takes to bring 3 healthy babies into this world. So, that’s step number one. I got clear in what I wanted.

Over the next 4 ½ months, I wholeheartedly committed to bringing 3 healthy babies into this world and took inspired action every single day to make sure I did just that. I practiced daily mindfulness to help me stay positive and disciplined with my strict bedrest. I’m just gonna tell you, it’s hard to spend day after day, all day long, laying flat in bed, by yourself. There’s only so much TV you can watch, magazines you can read, crafts you can do, and games you can play. There were days when I wasn’t sure I could do it. By the grace of God and with support from my family and friends, I got through it one day at a time. I ate a 5,000 calorie diet every day to fuel my body and give the right nutrition to my babies. I said my mantras, my affirmations and told my babies stories all day long so that they would know how much we loved them. I took my medicine and monitored my contractions multiple times a day to limit preterm labor risk. I committed and took inspired action to do everything possible to bring 3 beautiful, healthy babies into this world. And…I did it! My babies were born 7 ½ weeks early. Braden weighed 3 ½ lbs., Logan weighed just under 4 lbs., and Jake weighed 4 lbs. even. Today, my babies are 20 years old, over 6 feet tall, smart, athletic, handsome, and just amazing young men. But, of course, I’m incredibly biased, because I’m their mom. So that’s step number two and step number three. I wholeheartedly committed to my dream and I took inspired action every single day.

So, that’s just a personal example and a story that brings back so many wonderful memories and emotions, especially at this time of year, given their birthday was just recently on December 1st. Now, let’s apply this formula to a career story to show you how it worked for me.

As you know, I’m a corporate executive and a business and life coach. I’ve always had a passion for helping imperfectly, daring, ambitious women figure out how to build better relationships, level up their business and life, and create the life they’ve always wanted. I’ve coached so many women in my career as a corporate executive and I’ve had the pleasure to coach several women outside of my corporate career. I find such personal joy in helping women get rid of their self-doubt, gain more confidence, realize their full potential, and create their dream life. I’ve also always had a passion for podcasts. In fact, I’m a podcast junkie. I love that you can listen and learn from such amazing people through riveting stories, real life examples, and tangible takeaways. It’s been a real dream of mine to have my own podcast for many years. You see, I have a passion and desire to create connection and community with like-minded women (you know, the imperfect, daring, and ambitious women) where we can learn and grow together.

So, I got clear on my vision. What I would call my podcast. What the mission and purpose would be. How I would collaborate with other women to deliver value and stories that help our community. What platform I would use. How I would market and drive engagement. All the things you do to create clarity and focus. So, that’s step number one. I got clear on my vision.

Next, I wholeheartedly committed to my vision, albeit scary and way out of my comfort zone, but nonetheless, I committed. I signed up for my podcast platform. I got my podcast cover art done. I recorded my trailer. And, I set the date to release my first podcast. You know as well as I do that once you get a date on the calendar, you are fully committed to it. So, that’s step number two. I wholly and fully committed to my vision to have my very own podcast.

Finally, I took inspired action. I reached out to several women who either have their own business or work in the corporate world and invited them to have a conversation with me on my podcast. I’m thrilled to say I have several amazing women who said YES! I also recorded several solo podcasts where I share my wisdom, expertise, and inspiration with you, just like this one. Finally, I started sharing my podcast with my network to spread the word and ask people to subscribe. I’m having so much fun already! You can subscribe to my podcast, LEVEL UP TOGETHER on iTunes. So, that’s step number three. I took inspired action.

You see, this proven formula works for every area of your life. These are just two examples, but I could easily share many more. What I want you to know and what I want you to remember is that you can have it all. You can have your dream career. You can have epic relationships. You can have amazing health. You can have an abundant and fulfilling life. You can have it all. You just have to decide what you want, wholly and fully commit to it, and take inspired action every day. That’s how you have it all.

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