Ever wonder why Valentine’s day triggers so much stress and anxiety? Maybe the pagan fertility ceremony might have something to do with it. Valentine’s is thought to have originated from a Roman festival which included a ritual where men sacrificed animals. The men then whipped the women (who would be lining up) with the animals’ hides for the purpose of increasing fertility. Another highlight of the festival was a matchmaking lottery, where men drew the names of women from a jar to couple off. Can someone say SWOON?
The history of this holiday stinks, not to mention the pressure it brings for singles and couples alike. You’re either self-loathing that you’re alone, or overpaying for obligatory roses.
It’s time we rebrand V-day once and for all *cues Beyonce
Here are some suggestions on how you can have a loved filled, happy V-Day, regardless of your relationship status.
Start a gratitude practice
Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, redirect your focus to finding gratitude for what you already do have. Studies show that you can actually rewire your brain for happiness by practicing gratitude on a daily basis. Research by author, Shawn Achor, suggests that you can train your brain to be more positive by spending two minutes a day writing down what you are grateful for. Do this for a period of 21 days in a row and at the end of that, your brain starts to retain a pattern of scanning the world for the positive and not the negative.
Make someone else feel loved
Whenever I’m in a scarcity mindset, I remember a personal motto: whatever you want more of, give it away. When I’m feeling broke, I’ll donate to charity, help someone in need, or mentor someone.
Want more love in your life? Give love away. Surprise a friend with a bouquet of flowers. Take your mom out for a date. Support someone who’s going through a breakup. Instead of ruminating about the love you’re not getting, redirect that energy into sharing your love with someone to brighten their day. When you are a source of love for others, love will flood into your life.
Spark Your Own Joy and Treat yourself
You heard me, I hereby give you permission to channel your inner Marie Kondo and invest in something that sparks joy. If you’re going to buy something, invest in something that will add to your health and wellness.
Here are some items that I’ve invested in that have paid dividends in high vibes (and yes, I say invest because the returns of self-care are priceless).
Become a Quickie Chef
I’ve never fancied myself as a cook, but smart ovens have forever changed that. The Tesla of smart ovens, the Brava uses infrared light to bake, sear, toast, and even air fry food. The air fry circulates hot air around your ingredients using a tenth of the oil – so you can enjoy chicken wings and crispy fries without the side of guilt. It also has a dehydrate function and you can make fruit-rollup to beef jerky with just a click of a button. This makes cooking convenient, fast and fun. Some features I love:
- Cooks 2X faster than conventional ovens. Plus there’s no need to preheat, as the 6 halogen lamps go from zero to 500 degrees in less than a second
- There’s a camera so you can spy on your food from your phone
- Partitioned cooking means on one tray – you can cook your veggies, protein and sides all at once. No more needing to multi-task and juggle the cook time of different ingredients.
There’s already hundreds of pre-set recipes that have been tried and tested by professional chefs, so all you have to do is gather the ingredients, press the button, and voila!
Get your OM on
13 pounds of natural amethyst crystals, mixed with photon light therapy and infrared technology in one magic healing mat? Yes please. The HealthyLine infrared therapy mat that has been shown to increase circulation, decrease inflammation and reduce sore muscles. It uses PEMF therapy (Pulsed Electromagnetic Field technology) which has been proven to recharge and repair cells. It’s now part of my daily evening ritual, where I lay on the mat to wind down and calm my nervous system before bed so I can get a good night’s sleep.
Throw Yourself a Living Funeral
Have you ever read the memoir, Tuesdays with Morrie – when the professor who is dying of ALS throws himself a living funeral? Why wait until he’s dead to hear all the wonderful things people had to say about him, he thought. It might sound crazy, but Morrie was on to something. Why do we wait to tell the people we love how we feel about them? Well, with companies like Tribute.co – you can get your closest friends to record a clip of what they love about you the most, and they will create a lovely video montage for you. During those moments when you’re feeling lonely, or just need a pick me up, watch the video to remind yourself how loved you are.
Whether you’re single or coupled…
It’s time to turn this dreaded holiday around. I hope my suggestions remind you to focus on the love that matters the most – self love. I hope you have a happy heart day, everyday.