Finding one’s Purpose on purpose …
Is like searching one’s arm for one’s hand …
It lives alongside us in silence …
Awaiting the gentlest command.
It grows on the rhythm of whispers …
Whose subtle voice knows what we yearn …
Yet often mistaken for Goalism …
It lets us repeatedly learn …
To distinguish the Ego from Inner …
To deepen the Knowing with Trust …
To bolster intuitive feeling …
By tempering gusto and thrust …
To know we want life full of meaning …
Yet know not the means to know how …
And then to advance by releasing …
The need to have answers that shout.
This is the way of the seeker …
Who seeks to build dreams from Within …
By seeding the Soul with intention …
Then yielding the need for a Win.
The logic of Life is illogic …
But wilful approach is our game …
Will is different than Purpose …
Will is driven by gain.
Purpose is gifted from Spirit …
Will is designed from the Mind …
Pushing with mental manoeuvres …
And harshness that undermines.
Purpose is less about pushing …
Less about power and force …
More about quiet aligning …
To nuance, subtlety, Source.
I do what I love with persistence …
Yet temper my ego and drive …
By heeding a gentler insistence …
Which knows what I hunger to thrive.
I believe that you don’t necessarily discover your Purpose. It discovers you. But like any future “star”, you have to be in a position to be found. Hanging out at Schwab’s, Hollywood style … or under a tree, Natural style, matters not. Just that you arch your hidden nature toward the light of your forgotten Self which gets crammed and jammed with so much societal overload that you might just forget what’s hidden below. I believe Purpose is Inner Driven and a conduit to the soul.
I found my Purpose by repeatedly stumbling over wilful goal-chasing. I fell plenty, and I felt empty. There is a markedly different energetic quality between the two. I’m doing the very same thing I’ve been dream weaving for 30 years, believing then as I do now, that Synchronistory is a grand part of my purpose.
The astonishing thing is that to find my Purpose I never changed my “goal” – just my relationship to it, by changing my relationship to my Self.
You hit a very rough patch. It levels you. It forces you to relinquish your grip on “goal” and confront something still more driving and pervasive; Doubt and Fear.
Years of profound introspection held me in an existential purgatory that seemed both unendingly ruthless, yet loving.
It humbled me. I got quiet. I, who took trees and grass and air & water itself for granted, began to cultivate a personal relationship to Nature. Which prompted an awareness of my Inner Nature. In the most cliche sense, the two began to play like long lost compadres. I still loved material things. I still dressed fancy. I still ate well. I still enjoyed the “earthly realms” … but I also became still, and oddly more fulfilled.
When the chrysalis cracks you’re infused with a subtly transformed energy that springs from a vital Inner. You might not recognise yourself because you’ve never previously been acquainted with this Self. And from there, whether you continue to do the same thing as before or something new, the texture and fluidity of that doing is altogether different. There’s a loving heartbeat that floods your actions and thoughts. But we’re so uninformed about this wondrous alchemical shift and our misunderstanding about what Purpose-filled living truly feels like. This is not textbook stuff. This is experiential, patience-demanding, trust-inducing. It’s cultivated with steadfast care.
We live from the power-driven Outside In, often mistaking Will for Purpose. I believe there’s room for both. But the difference lies in which one drives.
Finding my Purpose was a relentless, active pursuit full of thwarted missions and manipulative machinations. I earnestly sought it, but went after it like a monster on the prowl. Then came my disruptive fall and the disquieting patience of having to pause – to recognise the hand was always on the arm :-). And then the bud … And then the bloom … And then the fragrant Me as my new life resumed with Purpose anew.