Is your life what you want it to be? Does it look anything like what you hoped it would when you were a little girl? If you’re like most women, it probably doesn’t. (Even if it’s pretty good.)
Life has a way of pulling you off course. It’s loud and demanding, and it takes everything you’ll give it. (You’re responsible for so many people and so many things it makes your head spin, doesn’t it?)
Typically, it’s not one big thing that moves you in the wrong direction. It’s usually the culmination of a lot of little things that do. Every time you say yes when you mean no, cross yourself off your own list (to make room for someone else) or shut your mouth when you really need to say something, you step a little further down the path of wrong.
If you do this for long enough, you can get yourself pretty lost. (Like deep-in-the-woods-without-a-compass lost.) If this sounds familiar, don’t worry. You can find your way back – to yourself and that life you used to dream about. You really can. But you have to decide what you want before you take any more steps.
Your wants function like true north on a compass. Once you’ve decided on them, they can help you decide on everything else. In this week’s episode of “GrooveTV” I’m gonna help you figure out what you want. We’ll do it in about five minutes and three simple steps. Press play already. Your wants are waiting. (And your life is totally worth the five minutes, isn’t it?)
Even if you’re lost with a capital L-O-S-T, there are still good things in your life. We want to focus on those first. We start with what’s working, because what’s working leaves clues, builds confidence, and makes you feel good. (And that’s always a good thing.)
This step is simple and fun. Just answer one question for each of the seven areas of your life. What’s working?
When an area of your life is working for you, keep doing the things you’re doing to support that area of your life. And give yourself a little pat on the back for all that’s going right. You’re gonna need a little boost. Because our next step asks you to focus on what’s wrong.
Ironically, the isn’t-working part of this step is usually pretty easy for people. We humans are obsessed with focusing on what’s wrong in our lives. We bond over it. We even compete with each other to see who has it the worst. (Makes no sense at all when you see it written down, does it?)
Which means if you’re focused on what you don’t want (instead of what you do) you’re likely creating the very things you’re trying to avoid. Let’s stop that madness, okay?
Right now, I want you to write down every single thing that isn’t working, isn’t good enough, is disappointing, or in any other way is not what you want. We’ll do it for the same categories we started with in step one. (Repeated here for your convenience.)
What isn’t working?
As soon as you’ve identified what isn’t working, I want you to ask the magic question. (Remember the magic word when you were a kid? The magic question works the same way. It helps you get what you want.)
What do you want instead?
You don’t have energy to waste. Stop wasting it being frustrated that your life isn’t what you want it to be. Redirect your focus to what you want instead, and you take your power back. Okay, revisit each item that isn’t working, and decide what you want instead.
I saved the hardest step for last. (Well of course I did, right?)
It’s okay to want more than what you have. It’s normal and human to want to feel good and to want good things. You’re not spoiled or selfish because you do. But I bet you’ve been told differently.
There’s a bully in your head. We’ve talked about her before. She plays this tape of rules and reminders you’ve heard throughout your life. (And she goes crazy when you start reaching for more.)
She asks you who you think you are, what makes you think you’re so special, or some other combination of garbage designed to keep you stuck and scared. (No more stuck and scared. Okay?)
Let’s muzzle her. Put her on a time-out, and stop listening to her. (Check out my blog “How to connect with your power” to learn more about your inner bully and how to silence her.)
Here’s what’s okay.
YOUR PERMISSION TO WANT IS GRANTED, MY SISTER.
There comes a time in every woman’s life, where she needs to make a choice about how she’s going to live, who she’s going to be, and what she’s going to go for. If you’re reading these words, you’ve reached your choice point.
That’s it for the week. Remember that I never want you to blindly take my word for anything. Only you know what’s right for you. I just happen to have a few coaching tools that can help you get closer to that wisdom. Give this lesson’s advice a test drive in your life, and let me know how it goes. There are three ways for us to interact.
My mission is your empowerment. That’s why I’m here. If you haven’t already joined my community, please do it by entering your email (www.kimberlyfulcher.com). Until we meet again, know that life is happening for you.
And you got this!
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Originally published at www.kimberlyfulcher.com