When we look around us, the majority of people have the issue of feeling negative about themselves. If anything goes wrong in life, the first person we blame is our self and this results in inducing a lot of negativity in life. The worst part is that we become so immune to thinking negatively, that at the time we don’t even realize what are we doing and what will be the result of such thinking. There is a constant voice in our heads that tells us all the negative things about any situation and we fall prey to it very easily.
If you think that all that goes wrong with you is your fault and that makes you a failure then you have to revisit your thinking patterns very seriously. There is a possibility that you made a mistake but that doesn’t mean that you have to be negative about it. You can turn mistakes and failures into learning opportunities and can use the information to better the next time. Similarly, instead of blaming you have to make the things right, and there no harm in taking help for this purpose. For instance, if you have failed an exam it doesn’t mean the end of the world, instead, seek help from the experts, start fresh, and put in all the efforts the next time.
Learn to forgive yourself
The foremost thing to do to avoid negativity in life and to stop the negative self-talk is to forgive yourself. Even if you have made a bad decision and the consequences you have faced are entirely your fault, this doesn’t make you a bad person. We are prone to mistakes as human beings and there is not a single person on earth that has not made a mistake. However, you cannot spend the rest of your life crying over that spilt milk. You have to learn a lesson from that bad decision and move on.
Keep practical expectations from yourself
It is good to challenge yourself, but do not keep too high expectations form yourself. You have to be realistic about your limitations and the facts around you. Even if you think that you will be able to achieve something that seems impossible, you need to have a proper plan and strategy to achieve that goal. You have to first fulfil short term goals that will serve as a stepping stone to be at your ultimate destination.
Be kind to yourself
It is observed that after a setback in life, people become harsh on themselves. They start blaming themselves and sometimes set punishment as well. This negative behaviour not only ruins the personality but start limiting the options for a better future as well. One has to be kind to others and oneself so that the negative effects can be ended and a new life can be started.
Stop chasing perfection
Another factor that the habit of negative self-talk develops is that we often seek perfection that is quite impossible. You will have to compromise on one thing or the other and you cannot seek perfection. It is often due to the failure of achieving the perfection that we tend to fall into the trap of negativity.
Anticipate the worst situation but do not expect it
I have seen many people who anticipate the worst of every situation and then start expecting them as well. When you will expect negativity, you will receive it. You start attracting the worst due to constantly focusing on the negative aspects of any situation. Be prepared for the worst but make sure to focus on the brighter side. Limit the voice in your head that talks negative and gradually start replacing it with the best.
Accept that you cannot control everything
You have to accept the fact that there is a lot of thing in this world, related to you directly that you cannot control. You have to choose your battles and choose them wisely. You cannot fight on every front and ensure that you use your energies for the fights that are worth fighting.
Author bio
George is a renowned psychologist and student counsellor. He has given lectures throughout the world to do my assignment and now helps people all over the globe to have a better life through his website and webinars.