Community//

How to deal with your toxic relatives at your own wedding

Such a great event can be a hassle to organize, especially when you have to deal with your toxic relatives.

Photo by Tiko Giorgadze on Unsplash

Planning a wedding is not easy, as there are so many things to keep
track of, from the wedding outfits to the location and food. Such a
great event can be a hassle to organize, especially when you have to
deal with your toxic relatives. A toxic person is someone who drains
your energy and all your resources. They can be narcissistic people,
control freaks, drama queens or energy vampires. When they are your
family members, not inviting them to your wedding might not be an
option. This means you need to learn how to deal with them, so they
won’t be ruining your special day.

Keep them occupied

To avoid issues with your toxic relatives you can assign them
specific tasks to keep them occupied. This will enable you to take
control over them and will make them feel included. You can designate
you narcissistic mother to take care of the wedding
video editing
services, while your pessimistic sister can take
care of the flowers. By keeping your toxic relatives busy, you can
limit the amount of damage they can do on your event. If you are not
comfortable letting them do significant things, give them small
tasks, like making sure the lights are in place or that all the
invitations were sent.

The only category of toxic people you shouldn’t use this technique on
are control freaks.

Designate a babysitter for toxic persons

During the wedding itself you can ask a friend to keep an eye on the
toxic relative and temperate them when they start to get out of
control. This method will enable you to enjoy the wedding, instead of
worrying about what could they do wrong and how they might be ruining
your day. The “babysitter” needs to have a lot of patience and
strong nerves, as most toxic people can feel when they are being
watched and will try to get rid of the “babysitter”.

Get help from other people

When you have to plan
a wedding
and deal with toxic family members you will feel
overwhelmed and alone. Gather yourself with friends and other
relatives who can provide emotional support. The toxic person usually
has no idea how they affect other people, they don’t know they are
toxic or don’t want to know. So they will continue doing the same
things, which are going to hurt you. During a stressful time like a
wedding, you need other friends to support you, so you can cope with
all the things going on in your life.

Embrace the word “No”

When you are planning a wedding you need to learn how to say “No”
to people around you, especially to toxic relatives. Set boundaries
and stick to them, no matter what. One of the trickiest situation
when you need to know how to refuse something is when your toxic
family member is paying for the wedding or part of it. For example,
when your control-freak mother is paying for the wedding
gown
, it can be hard to refuse the model she picked for you, even
if you don’t like it. Are you going to let her ruin your day or are
you going to speak up your mind? Tell her politely that you want
something else instead and take charge of the moment. Establish how
far your toxic family can go in the planning of your wedding and
embrace the word “No”.

Remember you have an alternative

 If nothing worked in taming your toxic relative, you need to remember
you have alternatives. You can always let them go, cut them from the
guest list. After all, a wedding is your day and you don’t have to
put up with anyone. Ultimately, you can always choose to get married
without any guests, just you, your future spouse, the person who
officiates the marriage and the witnesses.

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.