I was recently reading about celebrity couples’ lawsuits against press. Since then, I can’t help but wonder how these couples speak about empowerment when they run away instead of facing their haters.
When I worked as recruiter I was approached by a journalist who asked me to be the liaison between him and companies that would pay him to advertise them. I could not help him so he went on to use my name and write a bunch of lies about me to attract attention. I could have sued him because every law was in my favor. I decided I do not care so much in order to offer him my time. I realized that we should never mind haters, because they act out of weakness.
If you ever wonder why you have haters, it is because you are great at what you do. You worked hard and reached your goals. People who don’t have a purpose in life dislike successful people. They remind them of what they could do if they actually worked hard. Haters are jealous of you. They are negative people who only feel joy when they diminish, humiliate and make other people suffer. As soon as you accept this, everything will be easier.
I was recently talking to a client of mine. She would describe me her terrible experience with a university in Scotland. The more she was talking, the more familiar her story sounded to me. A long time ago, I was an ambitious student who wanted to pursue a Master’s degree in Stirling, Scotland. I studied hard and I would get As and Bs until harassment and discrimination started to take place from the professors’ side. Specifically, Jacquie, the director of the program, was angry at me, because I did not want to work on her recommended dissertation subjects. I wanted to explore a completely new idea and she hated me for my potential.
She stopped assessing my assignments objectively, and asked the other professors to do the same. When I confronted her, she said ‘You’re right, I was harsh, but I will not change it. I don’t want you here’. I tried to seek help from the students’ union but the –then– president of the students’ union later became a full-time employee at the university. Apparently his future was more important than mine and he wanted to protect the harassing professor. So I transferred to another British university and completed my studies with Merit.
As the Stanford Prison experiment proved, some people just do evil for the sake of it.
So how is someone supposed to deal with haters? Last time I wrote about dealing with bullying but this is a whole another level. Rumor has it that even a royal couple decided to step down, because of bad press. How are we, the simple commoners, supposed to cope?
1) Accept their free advertising!
Haters don’t understand that by hating you they actually compliment and promote you! If you had nothing to say, they would not bother. These people may have no idea what you look like or what you actually do but they know your name and they dedicate their time to you.
2) Don’t react!
One of the first things I learnt about managing cyberbullying is that you should ignore the cyberbully. Haters, for the most part, are exactly like cyberbullies, sitting behind a computer screen and playing in God-mode. Happy and successful people don’t waste their time on them simply because they have better things to do.
3) Stay true to yourself!
Thomas Edison tried for years and failed again and again before he invented the first incandescent light bulb. His haters thought he was a weird man wasting time. However Edison made it and when asked about his failed attempts, he said ‘I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that [light bulbs] won’t work.’ Who doesn’t know Edison? Does anyone know his haters’ names?
Remember that no matter what you do, there will always be people hating you, because you are better than them. It doesn’t matter how much you wish you could fix these broken souls. They don’t wish to be fixed.
As Henry Cavill put it, when he talked about The Witcher “Geralt has that thing of trying so damn hard and being misconstrued or not appreciated—of people having a negative opinion of you, despite you actually trying to do the right thing.”
No matter what you do, if you do the right thing and succeed, you will always have haters. So remember to do the best you can and don’t let haters hurt you. Just move on and be strong and fabulous!