Do you ever feel like life is running you?
Instead of the other way around?
I sure did recently. Three kids, a small business, and a side teaching job can sometimes make me feel like I’m drowning in to-dos.
And this time, I knew that I needed to take a deeper look. A few minutes of self-care wasn’t going to cut it, and I needed HELP. And a serious evaluation of what was making me feel overwhelmed.
The 80/20 Rule
This brought me to the one thing that always puts things into perspective: The 80/20 rule.
This principle states that 20% of our effort (in absolutely EVERY aspect of our lives) creates 80% of the results.
That means, for most of us, 80% of what we do every day doesn’t actually move the needle in what matters most. For some, it may be more or less depending on how aware we are.
So, I took a deep look at my 80/20 for home and for work. It allowed me to let go of things while expanding my focus on my highest priorities. In this case, I stopped making school lunches as often, some cleaning and cooking, and quite a few small tasks with work I can get help with or eliminate.
These things add up when it comes to making space in your life.
So, what is your 20%? What activities ACTUALLY make you feel connected with your family? Or effective in your job? Or healthy and fit?
Next, Get Help
Women, in particular, have a difficult time asking for help. It’s often for different reasons too. Do any of these resonate with you?
- You think you should be able to “do it all.” (others seem to)
- You don’t want to burden anyone.
- You tie your worth into how much you get done.
- You don’t want to spend your hard-earned money on something you can do.
I’ve felt all of these things and more. But a few months ago, I knew for my own sanity, I would have to get help anyways.
It was that I was DOING too much. I couldn’t enjoy anything because my attention was constantly being divided into twenty different directions.
After weeks of analyzing EVERYTHING, here’s exactly where I got more support:
- I asked for an additional day of child care (and researched back up options)
- I began paying for a cleaning service once a month
- I asked my husband to cook twice a week
- I purchased several products that helped us
- I let the kids eat one more lunch at school (eliminating one morning of making them)
- I finally took advantage of free grocery pick up
- I began paying someone to help a few hours a week with work
You might be thinking “that’s great, but many of these cost money!” And they sure do. We cut Netflix, downsized gift buying, found creative solutions, and moved around the budget to add them in.
But I discovered that my sanity is worth it. I am 10X happier, and I have SPACE in my life.
I can focus on work I love. I can focus on my family. And there’s finally room for self-care. I even started a 30 day self-care challenge!
In the end, what is your time and sanity worth? I needed to value mine more. And I think, as women, we need to realize it’s okay not to “do it all.”
So, who’s on your support team? What can you eliminate to make life easier? And how can you ask for more help today? Get creative and you’ll be surprised at how the solutions come together!
“Getting help doesn’t mean you are weak. It means you are strong enough to admit you are tired of struggling.”Manpreet Kaur