Almost every day, I just have to have it. On my drive into the office, I pass the first one with ease, the second one gets harder, but by the third, my car pulls in seemingly on its own. Starbucks’ americano is a powerful drug.
On one particular day, after picking up my coffee, I walked out of the store only to run into a gentleman I see there daily, engaged in conversation with other “regulars.”
As I passed him, I noticed something odd. He was walking in with a full cup of coffee in a styrofoam cup. At first, I didn’t think anything of it. But then it hit me. He doesn’t go to Starbucks for the coffee; he goes for the connection and community.
The need for connection and community isn’t confined to your local Starbucks. It’s important at work too. Facebook Executives Lori Goler, Jane Gale, and Brynn Harrington conducted research in 2018 to uncover what employees value most at the technology titan. After examining hundreds of thousands of answers over and over again, they identified three big buckets of motivators: career, community, and cause.
Goler described community as “feeling respected, cared about, and recognized by others. It drives our sense of connection and belongingness.”
In Building the Best, I include research that supports Goler’s thoughts on community. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Timothy B. Smith, and J. Bradley Layton found the quality and quantity of social relationships are linked to mental health, morbidity, and mortality. Solid connections and belonging are as important to your health and happiness as food, water, and shelter.
If you find yourself in a position of leadership, part of your responsibility is to create an environment where people can feel connected because when we are connected, we are committed.
Connection is the key to commitment, and committed teams perform better
Here are a few ways to create connection and a sense of community on your team:
Allow people to connect with you
The old school style of leadership believed the manager was supposed to keep an arms-length distance apart from people. Executives had reserved parking spots, exclusive coffee makers, and closed-door policies.
The best leaders today allow themselves to connect with their people by being vulnerable. Brene Brown wrote in Daring Greatly, “vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.” Let people know the real you. This doesn’t mean you have to be best friends but put down the masks and share your challenges and passions, as well as your strengths and weaknesses. By allowing people to know these things, you set the bar for connections amongst your team members.
Change your mindset from efficiency to effectiveness
If you are a high performer at work, there is a good chance you have an efficiency mindset. You are driven to be efficient and productive in almost every moment of your day. But this will hurt you when it comes to relationships and being connected with others, according to author Scott Miller of Franklin Covey.
He told me on a recent episode of the Follow My Lead podcast, “People are not the company’s most important asset. It’s the relationship between those people. You have to move from efficiency to an effective mindset when it comes to relationships.”
You can’t rush connection at work, it is going to take time, and it’s your job to be patient and create an environment where people feel like they belong.
Start your weekly meeting with a “moment of connection”
There is so much time wasted in meetings, why not start your weekly meeting with some real and honest connection. On a recent episode of the Follow My Lead Podcast Rachel Druckenmiller shared a concept she learned called the “inside scoop.”
Rachel said, “For the first 5 minutes of a meeting, one person gets to share pictures that show how important their life is to them. It’s amazing what happens to teams when they know there is soul beyond the role.”
This powerful exercise will bring people together on your team. Even if you lead a remote team or only get together a couple of times a year start your meetings with a moment of connection. The ripple effects will go far beyond the immediate time you spend.
Tell me what you think in the comments
What are the best ways you create connecting on your team or in your company? Is connection as important as research suggests?
Get the #1 Best New Management Book to Read by Book Authority: Building the Best: 8 Proven Leadership Principles to Elevate Others to Success is published by McGraw-Hill. Learn the stories, principles, and tools to help elevate the way you lead others.
What’s Your Leadership Style? Join over 40k leaders and discover how well you are leveraging love and discipline as a leader and find out your current leadership style for free.