As a mother, I’m sure you can relate to the infamous phrase ‘mum-guilt’. We’ve all felt it. In fact, a survey (carried out by GoodtoKnow) showed that a whopping 68% of us feel mum guilt at least once a day!
We strive to bring up our children to the best of our abilities and still feel we aren’t good enough.
When we indulge the mum-guilt gremlin and allow a negative thought to be processed, it takes over and starts chipping away at our self-esteem.
Think about it though: If our pot of self-worth isn’t full up, we aren’t being the best versions of ourselves and we’re leaving very little in the reserve tank to give to our children.
We become snappy and short tempered which further fuels our ‘mum-guilt’ and we find ourselves in a seemingly unbreakable catch 22 situation.
To help overcome mum-guilt, I have shared 5 tips you can implement to improve your self-worth and enable you to live as your authentic fabulous self:
Make time for yourself.
‘I have no time’ I hear you say. Now be honest with yourself. Can you find yourself an hour to take that yoga class/read the book that’s been on the shelf for ages/have a facial – whatever ‘me time’ means to you?
In order to look after others, we have to be able to look after ourselves – that’s why we are told on aeroplanes to fit our own oxygen mask before our children. By allowing yourself some alone time, you are telling your brain (and everyone else) I need this and I am worth it! This improves your self-esteem and keeps that pesky mum-guilt gremlin at bay.
Silence your inner critic.
You know the one. She tells you that you’re such a bad mum. She whispers in your ear so quietly that you barely pay attention to her.
Well you may not be listening to her on a conscious level but I can promise you, your subconscious can hear her loud and clear.
We operate 95- 99% from our subconscious thoughts. If you have this negative chatter going on, your subconscious is working against you rather than for you. Really start to tune in to this little voice and every time you hear negativity, shout STOP! to silence it.(Ideally in your head! You might get a few funny looks if you start shouting STOP! out loud!)
Write it out.
When we write things down, it leaves a bigger imprint on our brain. We’re more likely to remember what we have written.
At the end of each day, write out 3 things that you have achieved, done well or loved about yourself for that day.
You will start to think about yourself in a much more positive way when you see how awesome you are in black and white.
Let go of perfectionism.
We waste so much time and energy on being ‘perfect’. Ultimately, what is ‘perfect’? My idea of perfection will be completely different to yours.
Instead of wasting time, energy and beating ourselves up around perfectionism (which doesn’t exist), be content with good enough. It’s a much more realistic way to live in our imperfect world.
Anyway, it’s the imperfections that give us our character. Learn to love them.
Be kind.
It sounds so simple but how many times do you catch yourself being unkind to yourself or to others?
Don’t feel bad, we all make unkind throwaway comments but try and catch yourself before speaking and ask yourself: How would I feel if someone was saying this about me or my child? If the answer isn’t great, button up and keep it to yourself.
Negative talk drives negatives thoughts in our subconscious, so be a little kinder in every area of your life. You will feel much better about yourself.
Kill the negativity in your life and use the time for something more productive – like telling yourself how AMAZING you are. It’s about time we kicked mum-guilt to the kerb.
I hope some of these tips have helped and you put them into practise. I would love to hear how you deal with mum-guilt and if you’ve had any success using any of the above strategies.