Unlike the pace of generations past, we live in a time of constant spinning. Busyness is a way of life. And it’s not just our jobs and family life. Everything competes for our attention, from social media to headline news.
Life feels overwhelming. And distracting. So, how do we build deep relationships in a culture that discourages it? And why is it important?
A Time of Superficial Relationships
I mean, aren’t my 500 Facebook friends enough? No, they’re not.
The “friends” we have on social media seldom stop by for a cup of coffee. Or send a card when a loved one dies. We can’t count on any of those 500 people to support us in times of need. Our online friendships don’t give us the same social connection we need in real life. And yet, our culture drives us towards those superficial relationships daily.
The real problem? It’s killing us. Literally.
Depression and suicide rates have increased dramatically over recent years. Specifically amongst our younger adults, that are the most addicted to technology. Perhaps, we’ve stopped learning how to create those deep relationships we need to be fulfilled.
4 Tips to Build Deep Relationships
So, let’s take a look at small changes that can render big results when it comes to the type of relationships we need to be happy.
Be Intentional With Technology
The most obvious is to get clear on your technology usage.
Are you putting social media friends above your loved ones? Or text messages above friends right in front of you?
Next, set clear boundaries on when you use your screens when others are around. Dinnertime is a great example of a “no phone” time to re-connect after a long day. Build other small times into your day and watch your relationships strengthen.
Opportunities abound. But ask yourself if every activity is really the right opportunity for YOU. Maybe three sports for your child is too much. Or that big work project is going to take too much time away from your family. Be diligent with your calendar. Don’t let anyone control it but you. And remember that with every “yes,” there is by default something you will be saying no to.
“Edit your life frequently and ruthlessly. It’s your masterpiece after all.”Nathan W. Morris
Who’s your most important person? That one relationship that should surpass all others because it affects the rest of your life. If you’re in a committed relationship, ideally that would be your partner.
Make sure that relationship is being nurtured with time and attention. The quality of your relationships is a result of the quality of the time and effort you put into them.
Related Post: 7 Secrets to a Happy Relationship (for parents)
Schedule In Time
In our state of constant busyness, our schedule does not lie. If you say you’re a family man but spend 80 hours at the office, your values are not aligned. Likewise, if you say you don’t have time for your business but spent five hours on Instagram, again you have a problem.
If you’re uncertain, keep track of your time for one week. It may be incredibly revealing. Then decide where you can find just twenty or thirty minutes to spend on your most important relationships.
Deep relationships don’t take massive amounts of time to build. But they do take time. And it must be of good quality, and without distractions.
Remember, at the end of your life, your accomplishments will fade away. It will be the people you love and the impact you made on their lives that matter most to you. Live accordingly.