Patterns are what governs our decisions more than anything else. They make the difference between living our lives as we wish or feeling dragged by the circumstances. Cracking the code of patterns brings us the freedom to choose how we want to spend our lives.
Patterns are learned behavioral blueprints that we inherit from our ancestors, family, friends, and which have also been shaped by the moments when we first experienced a broken heart or mean classmates back in school. All the information that has been passed on to us is downloaded to our subconscious mind.
This blueprint sets us up for success or failure in life. Patterns carry the answers pretty much for anything that is happening in our lives. From the smallest things, like why we crave for a chocolate in the midst of a challenging situation, to the bigger things, like why we don’t travel the world and instead settle down in an average job.
Ever since I have learned about the patterns, I’ve known that I found my secret ticket to creating a life that I desire. Not the life that I was predestined to experience based on my culture and family beliefs, but by the life my own conscious chooses and designs. The more patterns I let go of, the more I become conscious. Living more consciously allows me to stop before making a decision and choose for myself, not choose based on my conditioning. Therefore, it inevitably brings freedom to let go of the conditioning and do what we really want.
Recognizing our patterns feels like looking at the same situation through completely different lenses. I can see life in brighter colors and often in colors that I had no idea existed.
When we’re driven by patterns, we’re unaware of them in most cases, since recognizing them breaks the negative spell they have over us. We think that it’s normal to experience life the way we do — driven by fears. For instance, if you’d like to study art, but instead, you choose to study business because your parents have conditioned you to believe that you wouldn’t make a living by doing arts.
It isn’t our own belief of what we want. Yet it creates an inner conflict within us. On one side of the equation is what we want; on the other side is the conditioned belief that what we want is wrong. Now, what do we choose? This inner conflict creates suffering that we usually solve by burying our desires and we choose to go with the logical side.
Sometimes, we keep repeating the same wrong choices over again. We might choose a partner who has similar negative traits as the previous one. Or we change one job for another, yet never feel satisfied. We might argue with a family member each time we meet them. Or eat something sweet whenever we can and feel powerless to change it.
Instead of looking at our life as an outsider and assess what behaviors support us and serve us, we close our eyes and hope this will be different. It’s easy to see your best friend repeating the same melodrama with men, yet it’s more difficult to be honest with yourself to see why your relationships end the same way. That is why they have such a big power over us. We’re unconscious of most of our patterns.
Some of the common patterns:
- Always arriving late. For some people (I used to be one of them), it seems almost impossible to get somewhere on time. It doesn’t matter if they have a free afternoon with only one thing scheduled. They always make sure to arrive late. The reasons are different in each case yet one thing they have in common is that it’s not their fault for being late.
- There are no good men (women) out there. Some people justify why they haven’t met the Mr. Right by saying that all the good men or women are already in a relationship. Therefore, they must take what is left. This is also the reason why they settle down with the wrong man because they feel it’s too late and they want to have a family. Preferably yesterday.
- I don’t have time. This is a very common pattern. Yes, I consider it to be a pattern because people who complain the most about the lack of time mostly get up later, they spend time on social media, watching TV, or they spend time gossiping about others and complaining about their schedule.
- The “I cannot make it” pattern. Lack of healthy self-trust is the most common reason why people don’t change something in their lives. Perhaps, they’ve heard way too often that they aren’t good enough, smart enough, or that they have to become realistic in order to be like others. Although I don’t know you, I know one important thing about you; you can make anything that you dream of happen. It’s within your power because just a like a lioness is fighting for her lion cub, I know that you have the power to fight for your own life and dreams if you believe that you can. All it takes is a bit more hope and trust combined with an aligned action, and then miracles happen.
- The ‘’I have to be better, slimmer, more interesting” pattern. Some of you might have been judged and rejected so many times that you gave up on yourself. Comparing ourselves to others has become so common that we all forget to share from our hearts and be honest about who we are, what we fear, and what we hope for. By trying to be better, or even perfect, we disown our own unique essence and trade it for what we think is worth pursuing. But it is not.
At first glance, it may seem that we simply have some behavioral patterns and that we’ve been born this way. But this is very far from the truth. As long as we feel that we’re victims of circumstances, or that something isn’t within our power to change it, we allow the patterns to govern our lives.
If you feel called to change your patterns and learn more about them, you can join my free webinar on May 18th at 1:30 EDT to create the life you desire. As the seats are limited, you can register here to ensure your free spot.
You can see in more detail what we will discuss with my friend, a transformational coach, and an author Annick Ina.
Feel free to invite your friends who could also benefit from this free webinar on How To Break Free From Your Patterns and Find True Freedom.
Love & Light,
Originally published at sylviasalow.com on May 10, 2017.
Originally published at medium.com