Success is quite relative. What is considered successful differs by person. Most people believe that more material wealth is success while others think it’s the quality of the relationships you have. Whatever your definition of success is, you want it, don’t you?
My personal definition of success revolves around balance. How well you can balance the important aspects of your life (physical, mental, relational, spiritual, etc). I hold on to this because I believe success should be holistic, it should come with a feeling of completeness. It shouldn’t be about amassing wealth at the expensive of relationships. Success, whatever it is for you, should come with fulfillment.
It only makes sense that to be successful, you have to do away with anything that is holding you back. You have to quit every behavioral pattern, beliefs, thoughts, ideologies, etc. Hold on, you seriously weren’t thinking I was going to ask you to quit, as in give up, were you? Don’t get deflated yet, if you follow what I am about to share, becoming successful will not seem far-fetched anymore.
The things I recommend you give up doing are general. So, whatever shade of success you are chasing after, you will be removing the major obstacles on your way.
If I must say, this is the first, if not the most important, thing to quit. If you continue to doubt yourself, you might not even be able to quit the rest. Self-doubt keeps you from taking action, and even if you do, you probably won’t put in your best.
You have to face your fears and believe in your dreams.
“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” – Theodore Roosevelt
“One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.” – Arthur Ashe
As you can see, your confidence has everything to do with your success. A research conducted a while ago shows that women only apply for a position when they meet the requirements 100%. Men, on the other hand, applied having just met 60% of the requirements. The researchers concluded that this was one of the reasons men dominated the upper echelons of corporations.
Faking confidence won’t quite cut it. You have to believe you deserve it and go for it, that’s the trick.
“In this world, you only get what you grab for.” Giovani Boccaccio
The “Yeses” shouldn’t have it anymore
A lot of people have a huge problem saying “no”. Most believe it is rude, some even say it is selfish. Saying “yes” to everything will only distract you, or at worst burn you out. If an offer does not take you in the direction you want to go, “no” is the right answer.
Avoid saying “no, I don’t think I can”, “no, I don’t think I want to”. That’s still indicating uncertainty, you’re opening room for negotiation. When you say “no” to an offer, say it with an air of finality.
Here’s the summary of a research done by the University of California. Your difficulty for saying “no” is directly proportional to your likelihood of burnout, depression, and stress. Learn to quit saying “yes” to everything so you can have enough time and energy to do the important things for success.
One way is not the only way
There are times your approach to doing something isn’t bringing results. If you are sure that you are using that approach the right way, it might be time to quit that same approach. Remember that Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity? For those who don’t, I’ll state it again. He said that insanity is when you keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result.
In most cases, you might not even have to change what you are doing entirely. Just change your perspective on it. Looking at an issue from another perspective will give you a broader view of the situation, thus a better understanding.
“No problem can be solved at the same level of awareness it was created.” – Albert Einstein
By quitting the philosophy of sticking with the well-worn path, you open yourself up to the opportunity of seeing things from multiple perspectives. This does not only give you a holistic understanding but also lets you see multiple angles of approach.
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.” – Wayne Dyer
Quit letting things work themselves out
If you want to make $1k in by the end of this month, what are the chances of that happening if you don’t do anything about it? Yes, you’re correct, zero! That is the same way you should see it with the promotion you know you deserve.
Quit thinking your boss will notice how smart you are and promote you. Stop assuming that your partner will stop taking advantage of you if you continue to let them. Give up on thinking that problem staring at you will solve itself. This is your life, the only one at that, you have to take charge and do the needful.
Highlight your contributions at work and show your boss you deserve that promotion. Sit your partner and let them know how you feel about their behavior. Get an eagle-eye view of your problem and find the best ways to solve it. If you don’t take charge of the things in your life, no one will.
“Your life begins to change the day you take responsibility for it.” – Steve Maraboli
There is a science behind becoming successful. One that can be replicated regardless of your definition of success. You first have to find out how you might be sabotaging yourself. If you take them all out, you will find out there is nothing stopping you.
I’ll leave you with this…
“Accept full responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.” – Les Brown