Community//

How To Become More Aware of Your Way of Being

Delving into Deeper Self-Awareness

One day I was in a restaurant with a friend and we were talking about relationships. She was telling me about how hard she can be with her husband sometimes. Being the curious type, I asked her for some examples and asked her why she was acting this way with him.

Her answer was interesting. It sounded something like: “This is the way I am so he needs to learn to deal with it”. I then asked her if he did the exact same thing to her would she accept the same action and answer from him. Her answer this time was to blush and slowly turn her eyes away with an uncomfortable smile.

This article will explore the idea of your way of being and why you should become more aware of it.

What is your way of being?

I struggled with this question for the longest time. The best answer I came up with is that your way of being is how you interact with the world around you. Among other things, it gets shaped by your life experiences, core beliefs and your way of seeing the world.

You may not be aware of our way of being but it is definitely there and it has an impact in your daily life.

The first challenge that I have for you is that you begin to take notice of your way of being. To do this, try this simple exercise. Over a week or two, take a moment in the evening to reflect on your day. Ask yourself the following questions:

· What were some of the things I spoke about the most today? How did I feel about them? How did I talk about them?

· What were some of the things I thought about the most today How did I feel about them? How did it impact my day?

· What would the people around me tell me about my behavior today?

These are very basic questions but the idea is to build some self-awareness. After a week, what are some of the patterns you can see in the answers to these questions? What does it tell you about your way of being?

How do you change your way of being?

This is an interesting question because you may see some of this as black and white. I do this behavior and this is good — but THIS behavior of mine is bad.

The point is not to keep score or make drastic changes. Trying to change “bad” behavior without understanding why it happens is not useful. It will come out in different ways instead. Think of water leaking out of a barrel, plug a hole and you may discover a new hole leaking right next to it.

Changing your way of being means learning new habits until they become your new default ones. You do this by practicing new behaviors over and over in safe spaces. At first, it can be uncomfortable but the more you practice, the easier it will become.

If you are an introvert that keeps to yourself at work, here is an exercise you can try. Every morning for a week, when you get to work, say hello to at least 5-10 people with a big smile and a handshake. After a week, what can you notice that in your relationship with these people? What can you notice that is different within yourself? What was different between the first and last day doing it?

So tell me, what are you aware about in your way of being? How different could your relationship be if you practiced new behaviors?

To learn more about Steffan and his work, visit www.steffansurdek.com

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.