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How To Beat The Fear Of Rejection

It took me 40 years to work this out. My hope is this article will help you find the way sooner.

Photo by Andressa Voltolini on Unsplash
Photo by Andressa Voltolini on Unsplash

For years I suffered from the crippling pain of rejection.  I grew up feeling rejected on a daily basis from my parents, siblings, kids at school and just about everyone in my life.  I was rejected so often that if a time came that I wasn’t rejected, I would have pre-empted that I had been, and probably wouldn’t have noticed it, or trusted it anyway.

This actually led me to not doing things and not taking action because I was too afraid of yet another rejection.  I’d do just about anything to avoid it, including sabotaging myself, procrastinating, and even doing a bad job at something, so it was inevitable.

It became my expected outcome in life…  Not only in my relationships, but in any work I did, any sport I played, or anything I attempted.  I was always the kid who was chosen last on the sporting field, not just because I was really bad at sports, but also because I was the most unpopular.

I would sabotage friendships, and treat my friends badly after a spell, because I would believe in my mind that they’d soon be getting sick of me anyway. So I would end friendships and burn bridges first, so that they couldn’t hurt me first. 

Rejection became such “the norm” for me, that I never really expected to win anything, let alone find a group I’d fit into, or a relationship that was incredible. So, for a long time I just settled. I settled with people who were not good for me.  I settled in abusive relationships, because at least someone wanted me. 

The worst rejection I ever experienced was when I was 24.  It was around four months after my father passed suddenly, and my family had been stirring things up as usual.  Little did I know, my entire world was about to come crashing down around me. 

In the space of just 12 months, I lost my father.  My mother and sisters kicked me out of the family.  My ex-husband decided it was a great time to bail.  I lost every friend I had in the world, and I found myself absolutely and utterly alone. 

I met a man on the internet who was much older than me, and who treated me like a Queen. We spoke for six months, every day, for hours on end.  So, I sold what I could, packed my bags and travelled to the other side of the world to be with him. 

This relationship lasted two weeks, until he’d had his fill, and then he rejected me too.  I will never forget the moment he put me on the bus to the airport… It was one of the most painful times of my life.

BUT ENOUGH SADNESS.  Because it’s not all sad… Don’t you worry about me, this story ends well. 

It took me 40 years to discover what was truly going on in my unconscious and exactly how to change it. Change it I did.

I did a lot of work on my mindset, and I discovered that unconsciously I believed I was not wanted. This had been downloaded by my child self when I was just two years old.

As it is our unconscious minds’ job to protect us, and it believed it was doing this by playing the “I’m not wanted “ pattern, I kept finding experiences in my life where I could prove to myself it was true. I really wasn’t wanted.

So, I would do whatever I needed to unconsciously, to protect myself.  I’d tell myself I was a fake, a fraud, and no wonder nobody liked me.  Until I realised what I was doing.

That’s when I started looking for an answer.  I found Neuro Linguistic Programming and my life turned for the better.  I cleared out my negative emotions such as Anger, Sadness, Fear, Hurt and Guilt. I eliminated the limiting beliefs I had including “I am not good enough”, “I am not worthy” and “I am not wanted” from my unconscious mind.

When I did this, my crippling fear of rejection went away. I was then able to work on my self esteem, and my self belief. 

These days I am 100% certain, and confident. I truly believe in my abilities and know I can do anything I set out to do.  Trust me when I say, there is NO WAY on this planet I would ever have put myself out there with an article like this beforehand, and now I do it on a daily basis with ease.

The beauty is, anyone can clear their minds using NLP. It just takes one small step to reach out to a practitioner who can work with you 1:1 and eliminate whatever is holding YOU back.  In just 8 hours, we can make a huge dent in the armour you’ve surrounded yourself with, and once it starts to weaken, it soon disintegrates.

That’s when, perhaps for the first time in your life, you will taste true freedom.  The freedom to do what you want, be who you want, and go after what you want without fear of what other people will think, say or do.  You’ll find yourself asking when you walk into a room, “Do I like these people”, instead of the old you, who’d may have asked, “I wonder if they’ll like me? “ 

Free Yourself Today. You know you want to…. don’t you?

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