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How to Be Resilient AF

You May Bend, But You Needn't Break

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Last week, the Sweatours podcast was lucky to chat with Lisa Abramson, who is a best selling author, keynote speaker, executive coach, and mindfulness teacher. She is also a mom and a down to earth, candid woman who came to talk to us about how to be more resilient and overcome our self doubt.

I started the podcast by reading off her rather impressive bio, but about a minute in she made sure to give the listeners a complete picture by also telling us about how she was committed against her will after her first child was born. She was totally raw and honest about her ups and downs in life.

When Lisa’s daughter was about a month old, she asked her husband and mom if she should jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, something that was caused by a change in her brain chemistry: post partum psychosis.

If I don’t have my mind, who am I, she thought?

Luckily, Lisa successfully overcome her postpartum psychosis. At a certain point, Lisa realized that in addition to post partum psychosis, she had also been imposing a lot of pressure on herself: her inner critic was being pretty nasty to her, and it was exhausting. Overachievers like Lisa (and most of us to be honest) seem to think that their inner critic is necessary to their success, that they need that voice to tell them to study harder, longer, and more intensely.

Some key takeaways from Lisa:

1.Listen to your inner critic and acknowledge it, because that is the best way to quiet that voice. Don’t ignore that voice, because if you do, that voice will only get louder.

2. You need to be on your own side. The best way to increase our willpower is to exercise some self compassion. Self compassion helps you pick yourself up faster from setbacks that occur. Research backs this up. Look up the “donut study” for more information. It talks about what happens when you eat junk food with self compassion versus what happens when you slam yourself for your decisions.

Lisa’s tips on how to be Resilient AF:

As a lawyer, I always hear “if you’re grinding, grind harder. If you’re working, work harder.” Honestly, I don’t see how this is a sustainable way to live, and Lisa agrees.

Here are some of Lisa’s steps to being resilient AF:

  1. Self compassion. Basically: stop bullying yourself. Connect to your why and ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing.
  2. Say “no” more often. Start small. If there’s a request, pause for a moment and say something like “let me get back to you” and then figure out if it’s worthwhile.
  3. Take a water break. In other words, take a minute once in a while. We don’t need to fall to pieces before taking a moment to relax. Do it before your tank hits empty.
  4. 4.Receive support. It’s crazy to think we need to do everything on our own.
  5. Embrace flexibility. Things usually won’t go as planned.
  6. .Savor the good. Stop the natural negativity bias. If you are having a great time doing something, take an extra 5 seconds and enjoy that moment.
  7. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Things are gonna go wrong when we are stretching, learning, and growing. It’s all part of the process.

At Sweatours, our goal is to open up the conversation about all facets of wellbeing. Lisa was a guest who was very candid about her ups and downs, and our hope is that through our podcast, we can normalize our “abnormalities”. The legal profession is still very “Instagrammy” in its presentation to others, and our hope is to get us all to be a little more real, and a little more raw. Once we do that, we can more easily be who we are and express what we really need from our school and work environments.

If you want more information on mindfulness, wellness, or just want to chat, shoot over your questions and comments to [email protected]

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People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

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