As a love coach for thriving, independent, successful women, I come into
daily contact with women leaders, entrepreneurs, CEOs and senior executives.
When you take a closer look at this amazing woman´s life, you notice two primary challenges in her love life.
The first primary challenge is time. Time is this woman´s most expensive commodity. She´s often in a perpetual time crunch that trickles down to having little time for her love life.
My client Bianca works for corporate America and finds it extremely challenging to make time for dating as a single woman.
Neither does she have the kind of patience that is needed to scroll through hundreds of online profiles, nor the time to go meet each and every one of them.
All she wants to do when she comes home is put on her pyjamas, have a tea and fall asleep while snuggling with her four-year old daughter who also wants her mother´s attention.
The next day in the morning, the cycle repeats itself and she finds herself being in a hamster wheel of never-ending responsibilities.
Of course, you believe that this will change when you meet your “one”
but the one cannot enter your life because there´s no time. So it is a catch 22
situation from an expert perspective, I explain to my clients!
The second primary challenge that the strong and successful woman of today has is that she is, often unknowingly, using her masculine energy as the pre-dominant energy in her love life, with men and in her romantic relationships.
This isn´t sexist as both genders have both masculine and feminine energies. Masculine energy inside of us represents the “doing, action taking, giving, in control” energy.
Feminine energy inside of us represents the “being, receiving, intuitive” energy.
Now women leaders, entrepreneurs, CEOs need their empowered masculine energy. It´s the powerful action taking, making things happen, being in control energy with which they´re building empires and commanding thousands of employees.
However, using this “doing and giving” energy in their romantic relationships and with men often makes this phenomenal woman lose in the realm of love.
When she tries to start making things happen with men, asks them out,
get their number, plan the date, drive to them, pay for them, she finds herself
working as hard for love, as she is working in her professional life.
This makes these amazing clients of mine land into a series of relationships that I call “Project Love Struggle” and it basically leaves them exhausted.
Their life feels out of balance because it is out of balance.
This woman is the one doing the work, everywhere, at work and in love.
A real work-life balance would be to be able to work as needed but then also be able to step away and have a private life that fulfills you.
Let us look at my top tips for navigating out of these two primary challenges –
1) Prioritize Your Love Life
You´ve got to make time for your love life is my message to my kick ass, empowered diva clients.
I know you´d rather not hear this again but I also know that deep inside you are aware that you have always been able to create time for anything that has been a priority in your life.
If you´re single, dating has to be a priority in your life and you´ve got to make time for it! Just decide today that you´ll stop neglecting this area of your life.
Our personal relationships have a huge role to play in our overall
quality of life and happiness. They deserve to be paid attention to.
A quick actionable tip in this area is to block two evenings each week where you can say yes to dates. This way you know you have time for that which is important to you.
If you need baby support or support with the house, hire the necessary support network you need to be able to do this for yourself.
For busy professionals already in relationships, I recommend blocking time for “magic dates.”
This is where both partners lock down time in their calendars to spend
quality time together or go on intentional dates, inside of the relationship.
Commit to doing this and see the magic it brings into your relationship.
2) Dating & Partnership To Relax, Not To Perform
If you´re single, you don´t have to perform for men.
This is where I remind my high achieving clients that they don´t have to work hard to show a man that they are a catch.
They just are a catch!
If dating feels like a burden or chore to a successful woman, it´s because she is still sub-consciously trying hard to impress the man in front of her. This is why she feels the pressure of it like a job interview and dating doesn’t feel fun and light.
To turn this around, start looking at dating as winding down time after work. It´s where you get to put on a red dress, enjoy a glass of wine, and laugh and connect with a man, even if he may not be the right one for you.
When you let go of the pressure of the outcome and start dating to relax
and enjoy yourself, it lifts up your overall vibe and energy towards the
activity itself, leading to a positive domino effect on how you show up on your
This in turn gives you better results with men as well! A happy, upbeat, relaxed woman is such a treat to be around and it´s possible when we give up on the pressure to perform!
If you´re in a relationship, a more balanced approach would be to look after your needs in the relationship as well vs. trying hard to make your partner happy.
Often successful women feel guilty of being away from home often or too busy in their work lives and they try to compensate that guilt by coming home and trying to please their men with gifts or doing what their men would ask them to do.
I recommend stopping this behavior as it is unhealthy.
When you take care of your needs first and show up with your full presence and heart for your family, that is more than enough for them.
Leave the phone behind and give them your full attention. That is their ultimate gift from you.
Also, schedule time on your phone for personal care and grooming to ensure you´re showing up in your best energy for your family.
3) Lean Back In Your Feminine Energy
This is where I teach my clients to date and be around their men in their feminine energy and “lean back” vs. trying to be the givers and doers, even at love.
When dating or even in a marriage of several years, you want to lean back in your feminine and let the men you´re seeing or the man in your life, give to you.
Allow yourself to sit down and let him bring you a tea, give you a foot massage or just plan and date and take you out.
In your love life, you don´t have to do it all by yourself. You deserve to feel supported and be taken care.
Your inner work involves feeling comfortable receiving from men and feeling worthy of what they do for you.