How to avoid the valley of despair

When change or transition occurs do this one thing to avoid the valley

The valley of despair

A few years ago when I was working for an organisation as  trainer, there were talks of a merger with another company so the organisation ran training sessions for all 350 staff on how to deal with the potential changes and it was at this training session I first learnt about the valley of despair.

The trainer stood at the front of the room with his Powerpoint and the picture below appeared

Now I love the concept of using little people to illustrate their moods but when he talked about the depression that can occur, my mind left the room. 

Let me tell you why.

The diagram and many like it make it clear there will be a moment during the transition period where you’ll experience depression and despair but then experience an uphill acceptance until you’re moving forward.

My mind left the room because I don’t believe that model and it’s as simple as that.

I’ve been through many transitions in my life and when I learned the technique I’m going to share with you, you’ll look at this diagram in a very different way and approach change and transition from a very different perspective.

Whether it’s been relationships, jobs, losing a friend or in sports, you can take this technique and embed it into your thinking and behaviours for very different results.

When we look at the diagram just before the figure begins to fall from the edge, they experience happiness; then fear, threat and guilt before hitting depression.

There are no choices!

Without choices all we can do is accept what is put in front of us.

So what if you had a choice?

What would you do differently?

Our minds are very powerful and when we give ourselves a reason to believe we can choose differently, we find the motivation to choose differently.

I’ve created a choice for you to consider.  All you have to do is give yourself permission or a reason to consider and take that choice.

In my mind I built that bridge and avoided the fear, threat and guilt and most certainly depression and found acceptance and moving forward quickly and with purpose.

The thing is our perceptions are created from what is put in front of us yet when we challenge what’s in front of us for the right reasons, great things will occur and with great things, comes results.

Here’s the diagram I created in my head.  Apologies for the crude diagram. I don’t have the skills to create something graphically outstanding!

Here’s what I suggest you consider.

Does taking The Bridge Of Hope look appealing?

Can you think of one reason to take The Bridge Of Hope rather than fall into The Valley Of Despair?

If you choose to take The Bridge Of Hope you need guidance because without guidance you can easily slip into The Valley Of Despair so here’s what you can choose to do.

“we all have choices.  it’s just that some choices aren’t always obvious”

Understand you can only control certain things and spending time thinking or worrying about the things out of your control is when trouble occurs.

So you can control your actions and behaviours and what you focus your attention upon.

Many people who fail spend a lot of time speaking, thinking and focusing upon negatives they have no control over.

Many people who succeed spend a lot of time speaking, thinking and focusing upon negatives they have control over and choose to change them.

Transition or change for me is a challenge and when I’m met with a challenge I seek out opportunity and following opportunity are solutions.

If you’ve found this useful and insightful let me know by commenting and sharing.

Take It Easy


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