How to Actually Move on (From Anything)

Letting it go isn’t as easy as snapping your fingers and hopping along.

twpixels/Getty Images
twpixels/Getty Images

By Maxie McCoy 

  1. In order to move forward, you have to move on. And in order to move on, you have to let go. You can only get so far with your leash still on. The heart leash, the invisible cord that wraps your feelings, thoughts, and energy around whatever or whomever you’re trying to move beyond.

Most people will tell you to just let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Sure, OK, I’ll let it go. But when it’s something that took up so much of your heart space and energy, letting it go isn’t as easy as snapping your fingers and hopping along. If it was, we wouldn’t have heartache, we wouldn’t have nostalgia, we wouldn’t have regret, we wouldn’t have frustration.

Moving on does require letting go

But letting go requires something, too. It requires acceptance, which is captured beautifully in this poem. True and utter acceptance. Of the situation. Of reality. Of your future. Of the facts. Of your own feelings. Accept and then let go. Let go and then move on.

It doesn’t matter what you’re trying to move beyond: a heartbreak, a friendship, a family ordeal, a work situation, a city, a hurt, a dream, a future…you name it and sometimes we need to release it in order to live a more full life.

And acceptance can be hard

Really hard. Because it’s not what we fantasized. It’s not what we hoped for. It’s not how we saw our life going. But what you have the potential to dream for yourself and for the universe to put in front of you is a wildly wonderful spread that will always be in your favor. There’s magic in store, provided you don’t live in the past or operate chained to all the bullshit keeping you from flying. And that’s what happens when you don’t accept, when you don’t let go, when you don’t move on. You’re keeping your wing pinned to the ground when you’re meant to rise.

Moving on can be painful, because it means finally and fully accepting the way life is actually showing up, rather than how you had planned on it showing up. But it’s a beautiful step forward that will also carry you up. Up toward who you’re supposed to become. Up toward a life that has the magic you’re supposed to be living with.

You’ll find a deep sense of power in choosing to look the truth of your life in the eye

Acknowledge and accept all that has happened. Acknowledge and accept all that you’re feeling. All that’s gone on. All that’s been. And all that’s here, right now. That acceptance is the root of letting go. And that letting go is the path to moving on. It won’t be all at once. But once it happens, it’ll feel like everything.

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