Community//

How This Verb Became My Mantra

Desarrollar: to develop, continually grow.

It happened years ago on a day I was feeling fragile. I saw the word desarrollar scratched into a subway station wall.

It caught my attention because although at that moment I didn’t know what it meant, I thought, it looked beautiful.
Come to find out, it typographically looked like its meaning and its rhythmic pronunciation had a physical effect on my body, like the word AUM, (something about the alignment with 432 Hz vibrational frequency found in nature to calm the mind). I made that verb my personal mantra and had it engraved on a bracelet that became a permanent part of my wardrobe.

The placebic power of the engraving enabled me to say yes to a challenging offer of a new job as a Corporate Executive Creative at one of New York’s most famous houses of luxury. Corporate was new for me, because for years I had been working as an artist and doing freelance design work on the side.

Those early years had me holding on to the bracelet thru a steep learning curve of new understandings of human behavior.

I was working with fashion’s most famous, learning an enormous amount of new skills, traveling the globe, discovering and eating incredible food. It was a fabulous & exhausting time mixed with loneliness, sleep deprivation, un-healthy living absorbed in a 24/7 venomous world. I felt like I was trapped at a magnificently disturbing party. But I was completely seduced. I loved the work I was doing, I had reached the pinnacle of what I thought was a dream job… yet; years later, it wasn’t the dream I imagined.
I kept trying to wrap my head around a culture that championed what I consider toxic, divisive and destructive treatment and language towards others.

By year 5, I felt hopeless and burnt out, unable to meet the daily expectations of harmful behaviors, yet bound by what I had committed to. I couldn’t figure out how to leave such a luxurious job. So, to try to hold on longer, I made documentary art work of my work day, which helped channel my energies and purge my anxiety.

During a late night at my studio, I noticed a shift in why and what kind of art I was making. As an artist working in industry…I started to see bigger implications of a new kind of relationship with artists in industry. I saw a transformation of the * ”function of art through a new cultural and social sensibility”, I had a paradigm shift. Or maybe it was the silver of my bracelet leaking into my blood stream! Whatever it was, it saved my life.

It was time, I finally had the courage to take off the golden handcuffs and move on to find my place in the world. I spent the next year at the job preparing myself for the next chapter. It was difficult to leave the security behind, especially at age 47, I wasn’t sure what was ahead. *”For most of us, radical changes can be a daunting prospect. Leaving old habits behind and reinventing ourselves someplace new after decades of practice definitely requires courage”. (or a desarrollar bracelet)

Life after being a Corporate.
I spent a few months re-set at an art residency in New Mexico then returned to NY and started a new business; called Project61, which is a collaborative platform that is public, where I can focus on the social implications of working with company projects involving interdisciplinary teams with artists that invite exchange and provokes individual & collective actions towards a more balanced and humane society. I also started a yogic & vegan lifestyle to reverse the damages of that former lifestyle. I began rebuilding myself physically and mentally, “to break old patterns, re-write and create the life I choose leading to more health more joy and more happiness.” Travis Eliot The Ultimate Yogi

Project61 is a 24/7 adventure, and it’s an amazing one. I’m meeting incredible people, sharing what I’ve learned, I’m happier, healthier, I smile and laugh a lot more and have joy back in my life.

I know this sounds like what everybody always says, but It really was worth the risk to follow my heart to find the world I was meant to be in. My desarrollar bracelet helped to remind me every step of the way that I had the courage inside to follow my dreams and to walk away from a culture that wasn’t right for me. I love my bracelet and can happily say, It’s no longer a permanent part of my wardrobe.

There is only one you in the world, you are the only one in charge of your happiness.”

Desarrolle, a su maximo potencial. Develop to your maximum potential

* Susan Sontag: New Sensibility *Monika Gerber: Ageist

    The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
    Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

    You might also like...

    HAKINMHAN/ Getty Images
    Community//

    Six Steps For More Effective Goal Planning

    by Darrah Brustein
    Community//

    I Am Living Proof Of The American Dream: With Vanessa Malzahn Founder of Leela Ryan Dog Biscuits

    by Yitzi Weiner
    Wisdom//

    Breakdown to Breakthrough

    by Ariane Hunter

    Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

    Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

    Thrive Global
    People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

    - MARCUS AURELIUS

    We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.