Most 10 year olds are out with their friends playing pretend war or making sandcastles. But when I was 10, I was repeatedly sexually abused by my Grandad. That time of my life wasn’t the greatest of memories, I must admit.
Once my parents found out about what was happening, I put a lid on it. I grew up with a secret that burned away at my soul because I very rarely showcased my true-self. I created masks and false identities to allow me to be seen as someone that I wasn’t. I didn’t want anyone to know what happened because then they’d laugh at me. They’d reject me. They wouldn’t believe me. They’d think I was a sick kid for letting it happen.
You see, all throughout my teenage years, I was scared and ashamed. The time I lay in my Nan’s spare bedroom praying that my grandad wouldn’t come in and rape me… that’s when every ounce of self-confidence was stripped away from me. I turned into someone who hated the person in the mirror. I would second guess myself over every decision I had to make. I didn’t believe in myself enough to chase after my dreams. I would throw up in anxiety at the thought of talking to a girl, and I completely lived way below my potential.
But then out of nowhere, my dad had a heart attack and passed away. It was the kick up the ass I needed to rid the masks and share my story. I looked online to see how I could build up my self-confidence, but the information was garbage. It was a bunch of ‘quick-fixes’. So I had to find my own way.
This then sent me down a path of personal development, reading every book and doing every course under the sun. Ultimately leading to where I am today, working with Elite Entrepreneurs to drastically build their self-confidence.
And you know what the biggest key I found was when it came to self-confidence?
You have to look within you. More specifically, your story.
You see, I didn’t picture my body hanging from a noose in my garage for no reason. I thought I was worthless. I believed that I was a failure and that no one loved me. This belief system, which is strongly linked to a lack of self-confidence, is directly tied to my sexual abuse.
Every client I have worked with who suffers from low confidence, belief and self-worth, suffers with it because of a chapter in their story they lived through. Which is still unresolved and controlling their life. Doing the “Top 7 Confident Postures To Make You Feel Like A Rockstar” you ripped off of google will work for 10 minutes before it wears off. Forget all that rubbish.
Your self-confidence is the backbone for every ounce of success you currently have and wish to achieve. It’s what will enable you to pursue your dreams with full certainty. It’s what will get you to ask for that raise, not be pushed around by people, move to the other side of the world, fight for a cause you believe in, or ask the extremely attractive person out on a date.
And your lack of self-confidence is whats creating a mental barrier, keeping you stuck where you are. Not a business strategy or business conference you are waiting to attend.
It’s you. It’s your self-confidence. Your self-belief. Your self-worth. Your self-image.
If I didn’t put in the work to build my confidence and push my boundaries, I honestly think I would have gone through with suicide. I wouldn’t have achieved any success in entrepreneurship. I wouldn’t have had the guts to face constant rejection and failure.
Self-confidence single-handedly paved the way throughout my entrepreneurial journey, and it will continue to do so as well.
And it does so for all of my clients too.
So I urge you. If you are stuck, or you know that you are not operating at the level you should be at…
Forget everything in the external world. Take a seat in the vulnerability chair and see where in your story the roots of your problem go to.
It may be tough for a lot of you, however, that’s where you must start. Then you can start filling in the missing puzzle pieces and start repairing the confidence that was damaged.
Remember – your self-confidence is paramount to absolutely everything in life. So start working on it from today and before you know it, you won’t even recognise the version of you that was once reading this article.