“The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself.” Anaïs Nin
I’ve come home to myself through an epic battle of sheer determination to live the most honest, vibrant life possible. I won’t tell tales of how destructive, empty, lonely, frustrating or depressing it was to endure living in the emotional jungle and spiritual wasteland because we have enough of that in our society already. What I am going to tell you is how I feel right now, showing up for another day in my personal truth.
I’ve become a woman who uses her unwavering strength to face every day in a selfless state of being. My days are long, some more challenging than others, and I work very hard for everything I have. I work as a part-time server in a restaurant , forgoing the career I had pre-children, so that I can be a mom who is on the sidelines wholeheartedly cheering my girls to live, love, and learn in a big way. I am giving them everything that I wished I had growing up-genuine time from a parent, hot home cooked meals, and warm goodnight kisses.
Regardless of how emotionally stressful my days of advocacy can be, my passion for helping others find their souls and mend their hearts is my BIG LOVE and my souls truth. I fall in love easily with new ideas and the tangible results of my wholesome dedication to, not only achieving my goals, but to inspiring, guiding, and encouraging others to reach theirs. I often feel like a category 5 inspirational storm of power. I am packed with high winds of hope, huge waves of faith, and piles of courage as I make landfall. Its a direct hit to the part of a persons soul that intuitively knows that deep changes after the storms are inevitable.
The most valuable life lesson I’ve learned to date is loving people where they are at. I have learned this organically because I have to fully love where I am at, right now, and every day form here onward, even when I am frustrated, exhausted, and overwhelmed. I’ve found that true freedom comes in these phrases: “Live and Let Live and Let go and let God.” I am only in control of how I react to any given situation. I choose to cease fighting everyone and everything and that includes my past and myself.
From the standing point of my consciousness, it is imperative that I create healthy boundaries and share my time with like-minded tribal members who honor my values and core beliefs. The ability to choose without my egos involvement comes from many hours of self-reflection based upon what I have been taught by the 12-Steps. I simply cannot afford to put something, someone or any situation that is not in alignment with my life path or my sobriety in front of me.
My happiness lies in a sacred Universal free fall and in the “I don’t knows” of life. In this state of free fall, the Universe has an opportunity to guide me effortlessly to my destiny; that which has already been prepared for me. It is my job to surrender to the currents of life with these things in mind, love, truth and acceptance. I love myself enough today to say, “I am deserving of more and the many blessings that are waiting for me to arrive. I won’t trade my soul for a temporary feel-good moment because I am in this for the long haul. I will keep moving forward saying good-byes and hellos over and over again. With each greeting, passing, and surrender I am guided closer to the souls that breathe life’s vital breath into me rather than constrict it or re-direct it away from me.
“Every day holds the possibility of a miracle.” Elizabeth David
Originally published at www.rebeccaledwards.com.
Originally published at medium.com