I lost my job but that was all it was a job. However, I found my life’s purpose and learned that redundant to abundant is possible. Here I am two years on and I made it to the other side of redundancy. Redundancy was to fuel my last call to find my calling and for that I am grateful.
If I didn’t go, the decision was being made for me. I had given 17 years of my life to this company, and like many, I had spent more time in there working than with my family. These people felt like my family. But I had to remind myself they were my employers and that was all.
The word “redundant” still gets me to this day and I hate it. It made me feel redundant, like shit and that I would never do anything again. It undermined my value as a person and my ability to bounce back. My ego was bruised. Why me? The day I sat down to negotiate the terms of my redundancy I felt like I was sitting in front of a jury awaiting my sentence of unemployment to serve.
At 39 years of age my 19-year-old son telling me stories of plans to replace humans with robots was not helping! You can always depend on generation z to tell you the truth though! Harsh and all as it is.
I love him so much but I wanted to tell him politely that he was not helping the situation at the time. He was making me feel even more redundant!
In jumped his father my knight in shining armour, he kindly took on the role of mediator and had a quiet word with him.
Now I thought to myself I can take back control here or I can lie down and feel sorry for myself. Shit happens and people lose their jobs and are made redundant every day. They go on to find new meaning and purpose in life and so can I! But I still had that aching feeling inside of me that something was being taken away from me yet again in life. I can’t explain it. Grief might be the word I knew I was going to have to grieve the loss of my job.
My attitude would mean the difference between an ordeal or an adventure here. I knew what I had to choose. So I put my big girls pants on and felt sorry for myself for a day or two and then I thought:
I sat down a few days later calm and confident to renegotiate my redundancy on my terms. I walked out the door of my job after 17 years with my head held high. There were tears but on reflection, they were tears of joy. Like many, I had found myself in a job more as a result of chance and circumstance than by choice or planning. My employer had given me the opportunity to seek out my life’s purpose and do something that I valued. I could now go and find my calling. To this day I am forever grateful to them for that opportunity. Now I do not deny it is not easy for an employer to make people redundant, but I remember saying I didn’t want anyone to be sad. All I wanted was for it to be over so I could move forward.
A year on to the day and I graduated as a professional coach. Two years on to the day and I am running my own business. I am listed on the top 100 life coach blogs and websites. I contribute to Arianna Huffington’s global platform Thrive on a regular basis. You can read my articles here. I built my blog and website from scratch with little or no tech skills. I am always learning. This week I have submitted my nominations for the International Coaching Federation awards in the hope of being shortlisted. I live bravely and show up vulnerable, and it has paid off. I am no longer redundant. I am abundant.
What an adventure it has been, from illness to fitness and bodybuilding to building a business.
I competed in my first bodybuilding competition the month before I sat down to negotiate. So I was going to bring that confidence to a male-dominated boardroom table. You can see that pride and confidence in my face in the first photograph. It takes confidence and courage to stand on a bodybuilding stage. You need unshakable confidence to let people judge you and not let it affect you. Especially after being five stone overweight a year before. It is a skill you have to build but when you master it you will never question yourself again. Unshakable confidence only comes when you place your values on things that cannot be taken away from you. Being made redundant was not going to take away what I value in life most my health and happiness.
To hell with feeling like they are the judge and jury handing down my sentence. I knew my worth and I was adding tax because I had spent 17 years of service and devotion from 9 to 5. Nobody can devalue it. As Dolly Parton said, I poured myself a cup of ambition that morning. I was walking out of there in a position to set myself up for success for the rest of my life. This girl had dreams they could help me make happen! I had to use my mind to make sure I got my credit!
Not long after I did some work with an executive coach. She asked me to remember a situation in my life when I was calm and confident. Sure I didn’t even have to think about it. It was that boardroom knowing my worth. Two years on it has been one great journey of ups and downs, learning, living and loving life. Every new day is the beginning of another journey. My most significant failures in life led me here today, and I am grateful.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help and open your mind to new perspective and knowledge. The more learning you do about yourself and life then the more confident you will be in your decision making as to where next you go from here.
You may have been living in conflict with your core values in life for many years if stuck in a job that left you void of meaning and purpose. Work on your values and beliefs to align them with your new meaning and purpose and you are sure to find your calling in life.
“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.” ~George Sheehan
I work hard during my days writing articles, perfecting my website’s SEO, and posting in forums. I read and write daily to be successful. I train hard in the gym to keep me in this headspace. Every day I surround myself with people who believe in my potential. I read articles from writers and bloggers that I admire, but I no longer think my writing is not good enough. I did before, making comparisons, so I then avoided reading, writing and learning. Why? because it felt like it was outside of my comfort zone. I was limiting my potential.
I started to read Jack Canfield’s The Success Principles after seeing him at last years Pendulum Summit. I learned that if I was ever going to see a change in my business and life, I had to hold myself accountable and push myself outside of my comfort zone. I am re-reading it now and doing his ten-day transformation course again also you can find it here. I scare myself every day to realize what I am capable of and what I can accomplish. If you want to open yourself up to new possibilities and success then move out of your comfort zone and maximise your potential now.
On that note, I will add that when I let go of the ego bruising my redundancy brought and my sense of entitlement I began to thrive. You can read why in my piece Why life owes you nothing here! I had to create this new experience and make it happen and so can you.
I am a lion, I am proud and I am coming for everything I said I could never have.
Originally published at www.challengeuchangeu.com