I remember my previous relationships so clearly, especially the times I was so disappointed and heartbroken (manifested through anger and frustration) when most of them ended because I was either cheated on or cheated with…
I don’t think I ever wanted to hurt someone more than the guy who cheated on his partner with me and when she found out, he asked me to tell her we are just friends!
Actually, maybe the guy who after a few months of seeing each other called me to say that he still loves his ex and was surprised when I said I don’t want anything to do with him anymore.
Here I was this young strong, independent, ambitious girl who moved to London at 21, having never been on a plane before and knowing only one person there, working super hard to create the best future for herself, meeting these men who just wanted to take advantage, lie and cheat…
I asked myself so many times:
How the hell is this possible!?
I was feeling so annoyed and frustrated.
Hopeless, sad and fearful that I might never find the kind of man I hoped to be with.
I was going back and forth between feeling angry and resentful towards my exes and blaming myself.
Was I too independent, too ambitious or too intimidating?
Was I worthy of a man who is on the same page as me and who would love me for who I truly am?
Was I too much to handle since my personality is on the fiery side for someone who wants a serious relationship?
I spent days wondering what will it take to meet someone who wants to be in a happy, healthy relationship, who won’t want me to change for them, someone who is honest, caring and ready to settle down.
I was so fed up with these experiences that I decided to hang up the boots of dating for the foreseeable future and asked God to never send this kind of men my way ever again.
I figured I might as well get even more independent and focus on becoming stronger as a person if that’s the kind of men I have to deal with.
So I signed up for my first ever Business Mentorship.
Man, was that a good move!
I always wanted to do my own thing and that was the best time for me to start learning how to do so.
To my surprise, every seminar brought something personal to light for me.
Here I was thinking I’ll learn all about business, only to learn just as much if not more about myself and what needed to change for me to succeed in both business and my personal life.
I started uncovering my short falls:
- negative subconscious beliefs that explained why I attracted the men I attracted
- low self worth due to childhood experiences
- things I took on as my beliefs from family and friends that did more harm than good
- not knowing how to handle my emotions to protect myself from suffering when my relationships went to s**t
- not knowing how to communicate effectively and handle conflicts properly
- not having enough boundaries to protect myself
- not being aware of the sea of different choices I could make
I thought I was pretty aware of what’s going on with me and how things should be in relationships before joining the mentorship, but I was shocked at how much more there was at play.
I decided to slowly let my pride go and started implementing what I was learning.
There was so much that was brought to my awareness that it took up all the space in my mind. Dating someone new didn’t even cross my mind anymore.
I was focused on myself because I realised everything starts with me. The good and especially the bad.
This was also the first time I invested a very substantial amount of money in myself. To this day, it’s the best money I ever spent for my own benefit.
About six months later, we had a weekend seminar where new people could attend. If they liked it, they could join the mentorship too.
Someone asked a question and I looked back towards them.
I saw who it was and as I was turning back, I noticed a very handsome young man who made me stop and look at him for a bit longer.
I want to believe I wasn’t staring at him lol, but he met my gaze and then smiled.
A few minutes later, I looked at him again and he looked at me right away which made me feel quite warm and fuzzy inside!
He’s now my fiancé and in March we celebrated our 5th anniversary.
Let my story give you hope because if this happened for me, it can happen for you too.