Life is amazing when you have friends, relatives, and loved ones, with whom you can talk about anything undersky, laugh, share secrets, and live moments, which become the memories of the lifetime. And all these things are possible only if there is trust silently working between two people.
But, What if the trust is broken? What if your trust is only one-sided?
Well, you know that it can lead to some disastrous and heartbreaking moments of life. And something like that happened to me.
Two years back, due to work, I moved out of my home town into another city. Everything was going well, I was enjoying my work, and life in the new city. Soon the best friend of mine since childhood moved into the same city, and I was ecstatic as we both planned to live together.
The next two months went amazing, until the day my friend told me that he was moving out. At first, I felt a bit sad, but I respected his decision.
Now, one fine day, the landlord told me that he is increasing the rent from the next month. As I was living alone, the rent would have stifled my budget. At the same time, I came to know that a person was moving out of my friend’s apartment. Thus, I requested my friend, oh! By the way ‘The best friend’ to let me move with him. But, he told me to wait.
And this where the trust was about to be broken. I waited for two weeks, but my friend didn’t reply, thus I sent him text messages, yet there was no response. I didn’t understand where I went wrong.
What broke my heart is that he never replied. It didn’t matter if he said yes or no, what was important is that he should have replied and been completely open with the situation; I would have accepted his reason; as there is no friendship without understandability.
But the reply never came, and our friendship along with trust was broken. It was a heartbreaking moment for me, as the friend that I trusted the most, never cared about me.
I soon began to think about the beautiful past memories that I shared with him and started doubting the genuineness of them. I even got puzzled by a question, “Whom to trust?”.
I was developing a pessimist view of the world, and there were constant thoughts fighting in my mind. While a thought wanted to give a chance to the world; the other thoughts wanted to completely close any relationship with the world.
But there is an old saying in India, which says, “Elixir comes out when there is churning of the ocean.”, Which means good things come out of chaos. And this is what exactly happened to me. The chaos in my mind led me to a path which was filled with lots of learning. I started introspecting and pondering about the emotional agony and pain that I was going through. And this one small step led to the following learnings which helped me become a better person and achieve a calm mindset.
1. Blind faith is the root of all the problems
I trusted everybody so much that it slowly turned into the blind faith. And when you have blind faith in someone, that’s when the seeds of various problems sown. Over a period of time, this blind faith makes you expect more from everyone, and you always think that everybody should have the same level of affection that you have. But, when someone close doesn’t fulfil this set criteria, you feel heavily disappointed and go through emotional trauma.
2. You hurt when you curse:
I have learned through my experience that if a person hurts you emotionally in some way and you constantly think about the person and curse him in your thoughts, then you are hurting yourself; as you are helping the negative emotions of hatred, jealousy, sadness to grow. The cursing doesn’t affect the other person, as he has done his deed and move on. But it for sure contaminates the beautiful souls that you have.
Thus, it’s a very difficult process, but you have to forgive the other person and identify and cease the negative thoughts, whenever they come. That’s the only way to get out of the emotional trauma and sufferings. But remember one thing, though it is necessary to forgive to end your sufferings; don’t forget the situation that led to your suffering, because you can’t repeat the same mistake and get into a similar situation again.
3. The trust breaks teach you the value of the trust
After going through these heartbreaking moments of life, I have learned the real value of trust and delicate nature of it, and how it’s very important for a healthy relationship. I have learned to never take someone trust for granted, and if I have committed to support someone, then I must do help them and not show back at the eleventh hour; as I know how it feels when someone does the same with you. Also, it taught me the value of ‘No’, as sometimes it’s far better to say no in the beginning, then messing up things and leaving them in the middle by saying yes.
Though these learnings can’t help me become 100% trust-break proof and avoid all the harsh situation, as I can’t control the thinking of each and every person that comes in my life, and I can’t look everybody through the glass of suspicion, but they can definitely help in overcoming one, and avoid the emotional trauma that comes clinging to it. As there is saying, “you can’t control every situation in your life, but you can control your attitude towards it.”