I don’t know many people that do not enjoy good foreplay. Just think of the spine tingly rush that warms your entire body to prepare it for a mind-blowing intimate experience. In this case I am not JUST talking about the great oral works of the Kings and Queens of cunnilingus or fellatio. I am ALSO talking about the well read, informed and seekers of truth, or at least their version of it. Real foreplay!
All too often physical connections overshadow the emotional, spiritual and mental coupling that two people can experience. This is so easy to do when the energetic exchange in the chemistry department is “out of this world.” Conversations will flow and all will seem right with the world when the sex is amazing. But what happens when your partner is paralyzed by social injustices that prevent him or her from connecting intimately? What happens when life dims the glow of love with familial death, sickness or even loss of income? What you groom and master between your ears will always be more valuable than what is between your legs.
Living in a time when technology, with its social media platforms, has seemingly negatively impacted social connections and authenticity; the market is flooded with surface representations of ourselves. Our virtual community spaces have the creative expression of a Gordon Parks and genius of an Einstein; the way folks have mastered angles and lighting, always careful to show their best representative. These spaces have given birth to new aged “frontin” or catfishing which ultimately breed a body focused landscape where the beautiful and fit have the most likes and followers. People don’t even seem to care about what’s behind that beauty or that body.
Don’t get me wrong, I will lament over an outfit, and will post a picture that portrays my best self at that moment but, I don’t have to have my face “beat to the Gods” to feel beautiful. This is not to bash others that do or have a following because of their bodies. This is not even to say that beautiful and fit people do not have substance. This IS to say that we are more than our bodies and we should allow ourselves to connect more than on a surface level. This is to say that we should hold each other accountable to being and sharing more than what we see on the outside. We should celebrate our vulnerabilities and in doing so be willing to be more truthful, patient and forgiving to others and ourselves.
How can we best invest in improving our head game? My best answer would be to become what I lovingly call a HEAD HUNTER. A Head Hunter is a person that is committed to expansion of one’s headspace/mind and self. Here are three simple tips to use on your of Head Hunting mastery.
1. BE OPEN to receiving new information that motivates you to do something different or inspires you to expand your perspective.
Read a book, article or published work that stimulates your imagination and inspires you to reflect on your personal growth. Try not to limit yourself here. For those who love to curl up to a good John Grisham book or something like, I ask that you go out on a limb and crack open a soft back page tuner that gets you to think about YOU. Be open to books that shed light on intimacy, touch, organization and even metaphysical topics. The point is, try something absolutely different if you want a different experience.
If you can’t imagine sitting down to read any of the aforementioned material, try out audio books. You get all of the information and even more; you can “read” while driving or working at your desk. So the barrier of , “I do not have any time to…,” is eliminated, especially if you are not willing to give up the current good reads.
2. BE ACTIVE about applying what you have learned.
All too often we get information that is really useful and it takes us forever to implement. Make a conscious choice to use as much newly acquired information or skills obtained as quickly as possible. Delaying the application of new information means delaying the gratification of seeing something new that manifests from you! Who wants the same ole’ same ole’ life? Even if we are living a mundane life or one with adventure, people tend to desire a new experience amidst it all. In order to do that, a person must be actively applying new thoughts and actions to familiar or old situations. Make a commitment to look for ways to actively implement new ideas and watch how the expansion of your mind unfolds a world of new expression in many areas of your life.
3. BE INTENTIONAL about your desire to grow and expand your consciousness.
My mother used to tell me often that, “life doesn’t just happen, it happens just.” What that statement simply means to be is be intentional. Don’t always expect for new things to just fall in your lap unless your are intentionally putting energy towards new thing falling in your lap. If your desires are to be better, have a better relationship, to enjoy work more…whatever that thing is that you would like to improve, be intentional and develop a plan to do so consistently.
Don’t get me wrong good head can jump off a relationship, help move past a disagreement, celebrate an important life milestone… the list is endless for the uses of good head.
However, good head, is the kinda head that makes the prior’s afterglow seem like a dim flash light. The expansion of our mind and higher selves will better every aspect of us, yielding masters of the oral game in every capacity!