Spending time with your children is never about how much, how long, and how many times that is — instead it is only about how you and your children feel and connect on a soul level when you are together, or when you are not together. You don’t even have to physically be with them — even though that is what the experience of physical life is all about — to sink up and connect with them because we are all energetic beings and connected as one at all times. For me personally it is very important that when they text, call, or ping me, I drop everything and I AM present with them — physically if possible, energetically for sure. My children are a bit older now, so our hanging-out time is a lot over the phone, face-time, and of course when everyone is home through fun talks in the kitchen. We hang out as friends now — enjoying the creative ways that everyone is bringing into the equation. When they were younger we played a lot, read plenty of books, loved the outdoors, and always made a point to find the next fun thing to do and to be happy. It was important for me to follow their lead and let myself carry with what they had in mind — which turned out to be amazing eye openers, at least most of the time. I say, if spontaneous moments present themselves, give up the control and the urge to lead, and go play WITH your children — be a child again too. That creates great memories.
As a part of my series about “How extremely busy executives make time to be great parents” I had the pleasure to interview Jacqueline Pirtle. Jacqueline is a holistic practitioner, a healing arts teacher and mentor, and the bestselling author of 365 Days of Happiness — as seen on TV — and her newest published book Parenting Through the Eyes of Lollipops. Her passion for mindful happiness shines through in all of her work and life, helping parents to parent harmoniously, and clients to shift into a high-for-life frequency — a unique experience that calls people into their highest potential in their NOW! Jacqueline has been featured in multiple online magazines, including Authority Magazine, Thrive Global, NBC News Better, has appeared on Women Inspired TV, and interviewed on radio shows such as The Sunday School Radio Show, The Lisa Radio Show and WoMRadio. Her article “Are You Happy?” is in print in The Edge Magazine. Jacqueline was born in Switzerland, has lived all over the world, and is now making her home in the US with her wonderful family. Her professional background is in holistic wellness and natural living, she holds various international degrees, and is an internationally certified Reiki Master.
Thank you so much for joining us! Can you tell us your “childhood backstory”?
Thanks so much for having me!
I was born and raised in a city in Switzerland — a red-haired girl living in a time and place where that was still a huge reason for teasing and bullying. I went to school, loved to study but did not necessarily like the school environment, played sports, danced, read a lot; and later in life pursued degrees in holistic health and wellness, then travelled the world as a young adult.
Can you share the story about what brought you to this specific point in your career?
My journey is full of interesting stories which were experienced in every split second of my life — some were easy and some harder, some were serious and some playful, some were happy and others not so happy.
Most importantly is that I acknowledge them all with the same worth and without judgement, by loving them for what they really were; phenomenal experiences that brought me closer to myself as a whole being and giving me food for thought and growth.
I have been professionally helping clients through my sessions and programs to BE and live a more mindful and happy life on all levels since 2006, and long before that, I supported people on a private level.
Then in 2017 I had the spectacular idea to write every day about mindful happiness, which turned into my first book and became a best-seller — 365 Days of Happiness. To say the least, I fell in love with writing about the wisdom that flows through me and with being an author, which nudged me to write my second book, Parenting Through the Eyes of Lollipops — that one was published on September 23, 2019.
Helping people live better lives and writing about the how-to pushes me gently and graciously to be and live my truth in new ways and levels that I would never walk otherwise. With my open eyes and my open heart I witness that life really IS magical in every way — no matter the circumstances.
Can you tell us a bit more about what your day to day schedule looks like?
Every day is different and I celebrate that by not being too expectant of what my new day brings for me and for us as a family. That lets me relax and stay flexible — allowing a well-feeling that is based on me and not on what is happening, a very concrete and focused way of being happy.
At the start of my day, I make a point of shifting myself into well-feeling, and into excitement for the new day, by setting a few minutes aside once I wake up to really feel happy. Some days it is easier than others — some days my breath or my almost-ready coffee IS my happiness and on others an exciting event is my joy. The bottom line is that there is always something that I can be happy about and use to feel myself into excitement — I find it, latch onto it, and never let go until the next wonderful focus presents itself, or I make a conscious decision to re-focus, and the latching-on-cycle begins again.
From there I take care of everything and everyone that needs taking care of without losing focus on me staying in my happy place. It is amazing how much energy I can bring forth while being there. Once everyone is situated for the day, I move into my work flow — again, from a happy place — while taking excellent care of my needs as a whole — body, mind, soul, consciousness. I make feeling-good a priority, I move and exercise, I listen to positive and fitting educational material, I create and help clients from my soul-space, I eat clean and fitting food, and I know my sleep-needs and try to meet them.
My days are sometimes more than 10 hours long — to get everything done — but when I stay focused on feeling good, I energize while working, while being a mom and wife, and while being me in my soul space — where endless energy is available. If I do get tired, it is a clear sign to me that I am not being and living from my soul space rather, I am living foremost from the state of my physical essence, and that state comes with clear limits — hence being tired. I understand that it is never anyone’s or anything’s doing when I am exhausted or overwhelmed, and I know that I am in charge to change my tired-ness into my true-ness by shifting to BE in my soul space again–voila, everything is back in order and works out again.
That is how I approach my days and, because of that, how my days go.
Let’s jump to the core of our discussion. This is probably intuitive to many, but it would be beneficial to spell it out. Based on your experience or research, can you flesh out why not spending time with your children can be detrimental to their development?
That is where I look at it as a co-development, because it is not just about your children’s development, rather, it is about the expansion as a co-existing team between parent and children.
My newest book, Parenting Through the Eyes of Lollipops, talks about how we parents think it is all about our children “needing to be helped,” when all along it is about the opportune co-creation and the possible expansion for both the parents and the children that is available to experience in this phenomenal physical life event called parent/childhood. It is a team-development.
Here is why, from an excerpt of Parenting Through the Eyes of Lollipops:
You ARE becoming more — regardless of whether the child is already here or about to make an appearance. That is what parenting does for you. Parents can’t be parents without children and children can’t be children without parents. Not spending time with your children robs you and your children of the becoming more.
Mom, you are this precious soul’s host when you are expecting — besides being half the power to make it happen. You signed up to give physical birth to this non-physical energetic being, who is here to experience physical life. Your heart is urging you to explode with the love that is expanding in you through this magnificent physical life experience.
Dad, no worries, you are of infinite importance too — through being the other half of the make-it-happen power and your own unique dad love-feelings that are emerging you have the power to bring limitless strength to the occasion, for both the mom and child to nourish from.
“I am here to help you shift yourself closest to your own soul being — to become one and whole as you.” ~ Your Child
It really IS a team-co-expansion — making it a team-development!
On the flip side, can you give a few reasons or examples about why it is so important to make time to spend with your children?
Again, it is not just important for your children, it is also of utmost importance for the parents, to co-create and deliciously experience this gracious life event to the fullest and to become more.
Here are some reasons (from a child’s perspective) on this subject:
Me coming into your life happened for a reason and in our journey together there will always be new reasons — because we constantly change. Clearly this means that we will never stop finding new reasons and never will run out of reasons for why we are meant for each other. It is the most beautiful reason-journey ever — us together.
Here is a list of some of my reasons:
- I want to unleash the most powerful love in you. A love so strong, you never even thought and knew IS possible for you to feel. That IS my first reason to be here with you — if I am already born, mission accomplished. This love will show itself to you as the biggest power you will ever possess — just think of testing a mama bear — available whenever you wish to use it, feel it, and share it. You are welcome! I love you so very much!
- I want to completely turn your life upside down and awaken new and grand experiences, feelings, thoughts, senses, loves, strengths, and hardships in you and for you. Ultimately they are all already in you — ready to rise, to be lived, experienced, and/or to be healed fully and vividly by you!
Not to mention that I make your life:
- Richer — not always in money. Sorry!
- Harder — it’s a good thing. Promise!
- Easier — just think of when you get to use my existence or my tantrum to get out of a gathering.
- Busier — what would you do without me? You could be bored.
- More meaningful — you loving me IS one of the most beautiful meanings of life. EVER!
Your main reason to be here as my parent is to become more by creating the opportunity for me to be alive in this physical world and to give birth to me. If I am already born, thank you! I love you so, so, so much! ~ Your Child
You want to spend time with your children to indulge into your and your child’s becoming of more as a whole — your body, mind, soul, and consciousness.
According to this study cited in the Washington Post, the quality of time spent with children is more important than the quantity of time. Can you give a 3–5 stories or examples from your own life about what you do to spend quality time with your children?
Spending time with your children is never about how much, how long, and how many times that is — instead it is only about how you and your children feel and connect on a soul level when you are together, or when you are not together. You don’t even have to physically be with them — even though that is what the experience of physical life is all about — to sink up and connect with them because we are all energetic beings and connected as one at all times.
For me personally it is very important that when they text, call, or ping me, I drop everything and I AM present with them — physically if possible, energetically for sure. My children are a bit older now, so our hanging-out time is a lot over the phone, face-time, and of course when everyone is home through fun talks in the kitchen. We hang out as friends now — enjoying the creative ways that everyone is bringing into the equation.
When they were younger we played a lot, read plenty of books, loved the outdoors, and always made a point to find the next fun thing to do and to be happy. It was important for me to follow their lead and let myself carry with what they had in mind — which turned out to be amazing eye openers, at least most of the time.
I say, if spontaneous moments present themselves, give up the control and the urge to lead, and go play WITH your children — be a child again too. That creates great memories.
We all live in a world with many deadlines and incessant demands for our time and attention. That inevitably makes us feel rushed and we may feel that we can’t spare the time to be “fully present” with our children. Can you share with our readers 5 strategies about how we can create more space in our lives in order to give our children more quality attention?
An important first step for a parent is to relax and know that you really are wonderful just by being here and by being present — ready for your new life as a parent or ready to shift into a new way as a parent. You ARE magnificent!
Acknowledge that you are NOT here to impress anyone, anything, or life itself — especially not your children. You are here to simply BE; nothing else. Feel the release of all resistance and the pressure-free space that you create for yourself by acknowledging this.
So what does to BE or not to BE really mean?
Do you think to BE means you have to have hard times and BE miserable? I surely hope not, because to BE clearly means to feel well, to be happy, to enjoy, and to feel excited about your existence and expansion. Just think about how well you feel by reading the first few paragraphs about your magnificence, and how wonderful it feels to acknowledge that all you have to do is BE your soul being which is pure positive energy.
Now shift your focus to your children. Let them — born or unborn — know that they too are wonderful and magnificent just as they ARE. Fill them in, that coming into this physical life means they are here to BE themselves — nothing else. Let your child know of this magic and well-feeling through loving and uplifting words, thoughts — every thought is energy that is shared — actions, happenings, and, for older children, through explanation and education.
Make well-feeling a priority for you because it spreads to your children, filling every single cell of their whole being — body, mind, soul, consciousness — with goodness, and it returns that high-for-life energy to you like a boomerang.
Think about the incredible power that is used to lift a sinking ship to be afloat again — you feeling wonderful is that power that can lift any child to be emotionally afloat again.
Feeling wonderful IS powerful!
From that created space:
Declutter by not occupying yourself with the not good — it eats up your time — and by saying no to all the things that don’t make you feel over the moon — the feeling you have when you laugh with your children. Saying no to that means you are saying yes to your well-feeling and to put spending time with your children first.
Be truthful to who you really are by getting your spiritual bottom into your own soul essence — your feel good sweet spot — before you encounter your kids — that guarantees that your time together is of pure joy and love.
Don’t take everything in physical life so seriously by letting go of how things have to be; the house needs to be squeaky clean, the laundry has to be impeccable, the food needs to be remarkable, and so on. That is all a matter of opinions. Instead relax and make sure that your relationship with yourself and with your children is beautiful and fun.
Focus! Stay on track with what you want. If what you want is to spend more time with your children — then that IS your focus. Anything that is not adding to that feeling, it’s a no.
Love your children as they are and for who they are — creating space for them to BE in your life and freeing up time that you would otherwise spend trying to change them, which never works anyways and is not your job.
How do you define a “good parent”? Can you give an example or story?
First of all, who am I to say who is a good or not good parent when I don’t live their lives? As long as they are not hurting their children in any way, every parent is doing the best they can with what they know and have. Of course, there is always room for improvement and opportunities to learn to be a better parent, which I urge everyone always to seek, myself included.
Some good questions you can ask yourself to find out how you are doing are:
Do you feel good and happy in your parenting shoes? Do your kids feel happy in their children shoes? If both are a yes, then you are doing a great job.
In other words, it is a harmonious dance that you are dancing with your children — either you are moving harmoniously and are showing off beautiful dance moves, or you dance like you don’t know how to dance, fights, anger, resentment and such are present. Truth be told, that is when the ball is in your court as the parent — to change yourself and make it work again, because it is never the child.
A good parent is also one that follows and listens to their inner soul guidance, one that is living their soul purpose, and one that is happy for and with themselves — no matter how the children behave, how they look, or what they choose.
How do you inspire your child to “dream big”? Can you give an example or story?
I live by the following: Big wishes and dreams are the fuel that turns desires into a happy life creation! It is fact that physical life is created by what and how you think, see, hear, taste, smell, and feel right now. Meaning, if you are positive, you create your next experience in your life as a positive one — same goes for being negative; it builds and creates forward and onward.
Here is another way of looking at it:
Imagine that you are laying out the tiles for the path in your physical journey, tile by tile. While standing on a tile right now you lay your next forward tile for you to stand on. If you are standing on a happy tile, you just laid your next happy tile. If you are standing on an unhappy one, to avoid laying the next unhappy one, you have to put all your forces into gear and shift to happiness, laying your next happy tile.
Walk your physical life journey while being and living those big dreams, wishes, and goals of yours. Become them! Feel one with them! That is how life knows what tiles you are laying for yourself — your soul has your back and the universe is always listening and always delivering!
The bigger you wish and the more you wish for, the better of an idol you are for your children — and the more inspired they get to do the same. The more you let your children be and stay the big wishers and dreamers that they came to be in this physical life, the more you will remember that you started out this way too.
BE dream-partners and wish-partners with your children!
Create castles with them!
Never ever believe in any limits!
That IS how I inspire my children to “dream big” — I believe very strongly in that!
How do you, a person who masterfully straddles the worlds of career and family, define “success”?
A happy house and family IS success for me — that IS when I feel the best and know that I am expanding deeply into my true soul being.
I create that happy bunch by being:
A parent who never looks at the children for betterment or asks them to change so I can feel better. Instead, I focus on myself, take full responsibility of how I feel, and own what is happening in my life — setting my children free so they can BE themselves.
That IS being a successful parent, woman, wife, human being — soul being.
What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources that inspire you to be a better parent? Can you explain why you like them?
That one is easy my newest book Parenting Through the Eyes of Lollipops is high on my interest list right now, not necessarily because I wrote it — well, maybe a little — but because my teachings on the 3 pillars — The Harmonious Dance, It Is Never The Child, and The Love Cycle of Parenthood — work and work and work… Then constantly checking in with myself and my happiness by practicing 365 Days of Happiness, my other book, is key for me. I live by what I teach and write.
I also adore the wisdom of Ho’oponopono, Esther Hicks, Bruce Lipton, and Gregg Braden with infinite gratitude. I grab their teachings often because they make so much sense and are always about “how to feel better.”
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“If in doubt choose happiness”
~ Jacqueline Pirtle
This quotes wins for me in every situation because happiness is love — our soul essence, our soul calling, and our reason to be in this physical life.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
It’s a movement that I am hoping to accomplish is showing parents how to be happier parents and how to parent from a soul space — setting children free to BE themselves and carving out a space of respect for their very wise and capable soul beings. I am counting on happier children with and because of this movement.
Thank you so much for these insights! This was so inspiring!