To honor thyself is not to rise to nobility but it is a way to respect yourself and give yourself the admiration that’s due. Often we are disappointed that others don’t think of us often enough and give ourselves credit when it is warranted probably because they are preoccupied with themselves. Thus it’s important to be able to give ourselves that feeling of a sense of honor to think well of ourselves.
We may think of honor in grand terms, but on a personal basis it is best to think of your personal values and how they are expressed in your life.
Perhaps you think of kindness and sensitivity to others with high regard. When you show these qualities toward others, you can think of yourself as honorable.
You don’t need a gallant title to be honorable. Perhaps you value persistence and hard work. These qualities are part of your daily life. Then you can honor them in yourselves. This feels very good and builds self-confidence.
Or, you might consider showing your love and devotion to others as honorable traits. So with your companion and children you are sensitive to their needs, an empathic non-judgmental listener, and thus you have achieved honor in your personal life.
Affirmation and Admiration of One’s Self
We often think that honor should be bestowed on us by others. This is wonderful, but honor recognized by yourself is just as valuable if not even more. To hold yourself in high esteem is rewarding and inspiring. Honor yourself by giving credit to yourself for carrying out your values and virtues. Building character and integrity is honorable. Can you think of ways you might do this?
Sometimes affirmation emotionally is honorable. Remind yourself of what you are proud of in yourself, give yourself credit for small things that you accomplish, and treat yourself kindly. These are all honorable traits.
When You Feel Dishonorable
Sometimes we all slip up. We don’t hold to our own standards and values. We get lost and overwhelmed by stress and don’t measure up to our highest virtues. Then we consider ourselves dishonorable.
This is a mistake. When you slip and don’t carry out the deed you intended or lose control of your emotions to the detriment of yourself, you’re being human. If you become too preoccupied with some mistakes and even failures you are not dishonoring yourself if you can give yourself the privilege of picking yourself up and starting again.
Dishonor is a heavy term. Always remember you can press your restart button and try again. Give yourself some leeway to make errors in judgment and learn from them.
To Honor Oneself is to Love Oneself
The most important kind of love is unconditional. It’s not based on merit and judgment. To hold yourself in high regard even when you slip up is a highly valued trait in itself. This is honorable.
Laurie Hollman, Ph.D., is a psychoanalyst and author of Unlocking Parental Intelligence: Finding Meaning in Your Child’s Behavior found on Amazon and wherever books are sold. Visit her website for more guidance: http://lauriehollmanphd.com.
Originally published at medium.com