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How Discovering My Free Will Changed My Life

Why give yourself the opportunity to be less than perfect?

We all buy packs of underwear having slight resentment for one, less aesthetically appealing pair. Why do companies do this? Is the variety in the pack determined by management and Miranda just never had a great sense of style?

This pair usually gets slept in once a month under temperamental circumstances. Yet, there they are, glaring at you from the underwear basket, “No, don’t choose lace again, add some variety with a pattern no one has coined a name for” and so you do and just as you chuck on your ex’s t-shirt your neighbour arrives with wine and the regret that sinks in is surreal. You know they are there, when he catches a glimpse of your butt as you spring off to get changed, he knows they are there. You should have chosen lace.

So why keep them? Why give yourself the option to feel less than perfect?

I use this (dramatized) example to highlight the moment I fully learnt what it meant to have Free Will.

I was moving in with my partner in December 2016 who, up to that point, knew only of the knickers that I was happy to wiggle at him to get coffee brought to me in bed. This confidence certainly didn’t come from the colour of the underwear I was wearing, but from how I felt when I had them on.

It was then that I made the decision to get rid of (donate) every item I owned that I wasn’t completly in love with and didn’t make me feel like my best me.

Now this isn’t a blog about confidence through cotton, what I am trying to demonstrate is that, every single one of us knows the underwear that I am talking about and how they make us feel. Why do you cling to them or rather, let them cling to you?

We all have choices, in everything that we do yet not a lot of us have acknowledged this. Everyone has free will and the only reason some people seem to have more available to them than others is because those are the people who have gained more insight into their worlds around them and so are aware of the options that are available to them.

We seem to seek permission from those around us, our mothers, our friends, our bosses – and sometimes permission is required in terms of regulations but most of the time, seeking permission from anyone other than you can keep you stuck.

Think about it, who are you looking to for permission to make your choices? Are you aware of the choices that you have?

“Hey mom, should I get rid of the pairs of panties that just don’t make me feel sexy and good?”

“Goodness no, you paid for them you can’t get rid of them!”

I got rid of them. I feel amazing as I type this blog in bed wearing one of the pairs of underwear that I own, that I love.

My mother, she feels the same as she did before I had even asked her the question.

My choice.

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People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

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