Everyone loves when the person next to them likes them. Who wouldn’t like the feeling that comes with others accepting them? I love it, too! And why is that? I am human, and so would love anyone to talk about me nicely. Oh! Have you seen that lady? She’s so sweet. What a beautiful compliment that is. The tingling it gives the ear is terrific.
But hold on. How possible is it that everyone you meet likes you? So what do you do when people don’t want you? Is it normal, or are you alone in this? Well, let’s find out.
How do You Know that You Are a People pleaser?
A people pleaser is the most courteous and most helpful person you know. They never say “no.” You’re one when you don’t accept that it is not everyone you meet that would love you.
Many people live to please others. They tread more carefully than needed so people can accept them. And it doesn’t matter what it takes to win favors or the approval of others. Don’t get me wrong, it’s alright to be sensitive, and do your best to fit into society. However, it becomes a problem when you no longer have a personality of your own.
It’s not right when you lose yourself in a bid to please others. You don’t mind that your values and beliefs are trampled upon. What gets you going is winning people over to your side. When you’re like this, you need to take serious caution. If not, you’re torn between pleasing one person while struggling to remain in the good books of another. It’s way too stressful.
What if Someone doesn’t like me?
Do you know that you are an individual with flaws, strengths, and a distinctive personality? It’s, therefore, no news that you have unique features or a different taste in things. This individuality may upset another person. But the best thing you can do for yourself is to be your best. Don’t cower to someone else’s ‘standards’.
The truth is that not everyone would like you. Perhaps you’re the nicest person on this side of creation, or you think you’re the most celebrated saint ever to live. It makes no difference, still. Those who wish they were in your shoes, or just can’t appreciate others would never consider you as good.
Also, some may say that you’re a praise singer. They root for you when you’re there, but their thoughts towards you are evil, rather than good. They itch for your painful end. When you discover this, don’t question your identity. Instead, beware.
Meanwhile, this is not to say that you become suspicious of every good deed, or be wary of someone with a genuine likeness for you.
How does People-pleasing Affect Me?
When you lose yourself because of people, you can no longer do what makes you happy. You end up losing connection with your true self. You become displaced, with your world getting lost in the full world. The truth is, your decision to please people without regard for self affects your wholeness.
And that’s not all, you also become emotionally unstable. And guess what! It’s all your choice! You are exhausted because you neglect your uniqueness. After all, every silence in our society connotes a choice.
What Can I Do to Become Better?
Self-value is very important for growth. So, when someone detests you, or you sense rejection from them, use it to your advantage. Explore their wrong emotions for your good. Make it your motivation to work hard and become excellent in your endeavors.
Allow them to bite their fingers when they see how successful you’ve become. Your perfect works, when spoken well of, proves that your success was never in their hands. It teaches that you don’t need anyone’s approval to become successful.
So, when people refuse to talk to you or begin to act funny, ditch them. With fewer persons in view, you can put your time, energy, and money to better use. Rather than visiting someone merely to chat away time, invest in learning, or strategize how to make more money. Spend quality time with those whose hearts are in sync with yours, and who would push you towards your seemingly impossible goals.
Instead of staying defeated, wondering why someone doesn’t like you, raise your head high. Put on your best smile, and sway with an air of confidence. Don’t be miserable because some persons do not like you. They are the ones at a loss; missing out on the version of the person that you are!
When you’re sad, those who ought to root for you will not enjoy your full package. So, let the acceptance of who you are, be your new regular. Let go of those who have no eyes for your beautiful self. But, open up to the ones that are proud to like you.