“I want regular, routine sex, but I don’t want all the trappings of a relationship.”
If that sounds like you, then what you need is a Friends with Benefit relationship. And you are not alone. Many people love the idea of being in a Friends with Benefit, which is one of the reasons why popular FWB apps like Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel have continued to enjoy increasing popularity over the years. However, while FWB relationships do sound great (and probably look great in movie you’ve seen it), they can be a lot more challenging in reality.
Because they are not actual relationships, Friends with Benefit relationships can go from great to really messy between bedmates over time. If you intend to keep a Friends with Benefit relationship, it is very crucial to understand and acknowledge certain things about your “relationship” with the other person.
Here are seven tips to help you keep a healthy Friends with Benefit relationship.
1. Don’t Just Choose Anyone
Yes, we know it’s not an actual relationship, but that does not mean you can be friends with benefit with just anyone. Avoid getting into a FWB relationship with an actual friend (it may get really awkward when it’s over) or a colleague you’d probably run into at work every day. The less frequent you see your FWB, the less likely it is that your relationship is will blow out quickly.
Also, choose someone that you are physically attracted to, but (of course) don’t see yourself getting serious with. Dating site like FWB Tinder is also excellent platform to find great Friends with Benefits without going through so much hassle.
2. Be Ready to Handle the Emotional Mess
Like we said earlier, FWB seems great but can actually be difficult to navigate in real life, especially when emotions start to seep into your strictly sexual space. Like it or not, the chances are that your bedmate could end up developing feelings for you, or you could end up liking them. This is totally normal, but can be the ticket to ruining your FWB. In such cases, be open about your feelings; if you like the other person, let them know. The chances are that they also feel the same way, but if they don’t, be ready to accept the rejection gracefully (after all, it’s a FWB relationship.)
3. Be Open to Other Relationships
Monogamy is not a choice in a FWB relationship (since you are not really dating). This is why you must be open to other relationships. If your bedmate starts seeing someone as well, you have to be okay with it. If you are not, then it’s probably because you are already emotionally attached to your FWB, which is bad for your relationship.
4. Be Explicit About What You Want
Make sure that you explicitly lay out what you want in a FWB relationship right from the start. And be sure that the other person’s FWB goals are in line with yours. You must ensure that you are both on the same page. This will help you both know and respect each other’s boundaries and keep your arrangement blow up-proof.
5. Don’t Become FWB When You Want More
So, there’s this girl (or guy) you really like and you thought being friends with benefit with her (or him) was going to lead to something more. Well, it could, and it also could not. One thing you must always keep in mind is that you should never enter into a FWB with the intention of making the other person fall in love with you. You are more likely to be dissatisfied while in the relationship and may end up hurt and disappointed.
6. Talk about Sex
You both know your arrangement is based on sex, which is why you need to be 100% honest about your sex life and desires. Remember, the aim of a FWB relationship is to explore and fulfill sexual fantasies with your bedmate. So, don’t be uncomfortable about letting your partner know your sex life history and needs.
7. Respect Each Other’s Boundaries
A great way to start out a toxic-free FWB relationship is to clearly establish your boundaries and respect them. Ensure that you and your bed mate maintain your personal spaces without infringing on each other’s businesses. When boundaries are overstepped, your FWB might start to feel suffocating (and that’s bad for business!)