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“How Anyone Can Build Habits” with Robin Joy Meyers

You Can Only Control What You Can Control: Stay true to yourself, be authentic and JUST OWN YOU! Lead with truth, honesty and vulnerability and at the end of the day you can only control your outcome. Can’t worry about others. As a part of our series about “How Anyone Can Build Habits For Optimal Wellness, […]

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You Can Only Control What You Can Control: Stay true to yourself, be authentic and JUST OWN YOU! Lead with truth, honesty and vulnerability and at the end of the day you can only control your outcome. Can’t worry about others.

As a part of our series about “How Anyone Can Build Habits For Optimal Wellness, Performance, & Focus”, I had the pleasure of interviewingRobin Joy Meyers.

Former Molecular Geneticist turned Fear Strategist, Author, Mentor, and TEDx speaker, Robin Joy Meyers, “JOY Architect”, empowers women to amplify their voice and embrace change so that they can create a life of freedom and fulfillment. By understanding the science of fear and the gift that it is, so you can tap into your JOY. The secret to living your best life is … JUST OWN YOU!

Specializing in science-based strategies and techniques for self-awareness, mindset, leadership, balance/boundaries and the positive power of fear, Robin Joy has created The F.E.A.R. Method and is CEO of

Navigate2Empower Coaching & Consulting. Living a life without fear isn’t realistic, however her unique approach to fear management provides a fresh and effective method to self-improvement.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

Thank you for this opportunity. I grew up just outside of New York City and went to college in Ohio with the dream of going to Medical School. When that did not work out, I decided to get my graduate degree which ended up being a Master’s in Molecular Genetics from Case Western Reserve in Cleveland, Ohio. I was a shy, timid person rather scared of my own shadow. A professional people pleaser, I focused on my school work. I enjoyed working in the lab, because I didn’t really need to speak. I could be quiet and busy with running my DNA Sequencing gels. Since I didn’t have a social life, I was the go-to person to check on experiments late night or early morning for the lab. During this time my mother was diagnosed with cancer and subsequently passed away in September 1988. So, I decided to finish at my Master’s and graduate January 1989. She was 53 and I was 21 yrs. old. I went from quiet and shy to lonely, alone and depressed. I met my boyfriend, later husband, and moved to the Washington DC area where we married a couple years later and started a family. I was a stay-at-home mother of three for 18 years, and then went back into the corporate world. I taught high school Biology, Tutor, Corporate Trainer, and Director of Education for a non-profit organization working with schools. As time passed, I was everybody’s everything, yet still was living in a shell hiding and feeling isolated. As I approached my 53rd birthday, my daughter turned 21, which was the exact age that I was when my mother died. It was a wakeup call for me. A sense of mortality came over me, so I went on a self-awareness journey to find out who Robin Joy Meyers was. What I discovered is that I was a woman who had a voice and mission. To empower women all over the world to create the life that they want. As women we are nurturers and tend to put our needs last, which I did for 53 years. I was going to be an advocate, educator and mentor so I went into coaching certifications, mindfulness-based stress reduction certification, and leadership empowerment training.

What or who inspired you to pursue your career? We’d love to hear the story.

I had my “AH HA” moment when I was turning 53 and leaving a job that triggered the invisible, younger Robin. It was like the perfect storm, which at the time I didn’t even realize. I was in Gettysburg Pennsylvania for work as Director Of Education for a non-profit organization in front of school and state officials launching a series of movies created by middle school age students for the National Park Service. At the podium our executive director was speaking and I was queued to go next when she was tapping her leg and pointing at me to come. There was no reason for her behavior and instead of being an equal, she triggered something in me. That with turning the age that my mother had died made me realize that life is too short. I was the mother to three amazing children, and nothing was more important to me than those kids of mine. No paycheck! I also had an amazing daughter, and I wanted her to know that she has a strong, powerful voice. She could do anything she wanted in life as long as she was passionate and happy. So, I quite that job the next day and decided that I would find a coaching certification program to begin a journey to empower women to unapologetically use their voice.

None of us can achieve success without some help along the way. Was there a particular person who you feel gave you the most help or encouragement to be who you are today? Can you share a story about that?

As strange as this may sound, I think that my mother’s death was her gift to me. My mother, Jeanne, was my advocate, friend and the only one that I did communicate with through my young 21 years, and although we didn’t have the privilege of having an adult relationship or her seeing her grandchildren, I do not think that I would be the woman that I am today if I didn’t have this journey. I had to navigate losing her and finding my voice without a motherly role model and I credit Jeanne for making me who I am today. That is why I am so passionate about educating and empowering women. As much as I miss her, I am so thankful for the time and gifts she gave me.

Can you share the funniest or most interesting mistake that occurred to you in the course of your career? What lesson or take away did you learn from that?

I was on the Fearless Women US speaking tour in San Diego which was the third city of a 20 city tour. As I am introduced and go up to the front of the room and totally went blank. I don’t think I could have even told you my name. I wasn’t even that nervous. I just hadn’t done my normal pre-speaking routine, which I am vigilant about now. My talk was on fear, so I said, “How appropriate is this. I am here to speak to you about fear and wouldn’t you be most fearful of a speaker getting up in front of the room to only forget everything you were going to say!” Everyone, including myself, laughed. Then I composed myself and said, “let’s try this again.”

This moment was fantastic, because I learned that to be on a speaking tour, you must have a routine in place. Sleep, food, exercise, everything. Really important. I also learned that people are fantastic and supportive. More people came up to me telling me, “thank you for being human.” We can be messy and make mistakes and still be effective.

The road to success is hard and requires tremendous dedication. This question is obviously a big one, but what advice would you give to a young person who aspires to follow in your footsteps and emulate your success?

I would tell a younger person to absolutely trust his or her instincts as they build their career. Even in following my and my path find mentors, but don’t be afraid to make changes to an idea if you feel like your way of doing something feels more aligned and fits your audience better.

Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?

I am a huge reader so my list is very large. One of the books that I have just re-read is Oprah’s “The Path Made Clear.” It just resonated with me, because I was at a crossroads and reminded me to trust myself. The one thing about self-discovery is that it never stops. You always keep learning and always keep discovering more about your journey. Sort of like the layers of an onion which you keep peeling away.

Can you share your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Why does that resonate with you so much?

Nelson Mandela: “May Your Choices Reflect Your Hopes Not Your Fears”

What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?

My most exciting upcoming project is my upcoming live appearance on the Hallmark Channel’s Home and Family TV show November 24th. I will be discussing my book, “Alone, but Not Lonely” and discussing my top morning strategies as well as navigating alone time being positive and necessary especially in these unprecedented times.

OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the core focus of our interview. This will be intuitive to you but it will be helpful to spell this out directly. Can you help explain a few reasons why it is so important to create good habits? Can you share a story or give some examples?

Good habits are necessary because of good patterns. They create a sense of growth and positivity as well as mindset. However creating new habits are not as easy and is a process that requires patience.

For example, if you want to run a marathon, you probably are not going to wake up and run 10 miles that morning if you have never run in your life. It requires training. Think of habits as like training. Training new muscles, because our brains like routines and you are introducing a new routine that needs to be built slowly and with consistency.

How have habits played a role in your success? Can you share some success habits that have helped you in your journey?

Personally for me, creating new habits in how I run and organize my business have been tremendous. I have organized my calendar into three segments: “ON, OFF, & IN.” When I am working “ON” my business, I am working on the growth of my business: Planning, systems, growth. When I am working “IN” my business, I am working in the money, revenuegenerating aspect of my business like paying clients. When I am “OFF” in my business, that is scheduled time off, which is just as important as any other category, and mandatory to have in your calendar.

Having a succinct plan like this has been a game changer in my business and I am a coach who teaches time management and productivity. However, even with all my calendar entries I wasn’t being efficient for myself until I switched to this method.

Speaking in general, what is the best way to develop good habits? Conversely, how can one stop bad habits?

Creating new patterns and habits come right down to something called neuroplasticity which is one of my favorite subjects. I LOVE brain science!!! So bad patterns become bad habits, however we all have the potential to create new, healthy patterns into healthy habits. Here’s the catch: our brains are powerful and brilliant. They like patterns (good or bad) and don’t really like change. So, I like to say that you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable as you create these new habits, because your brain will be fighting you. Therefore you need to trick it and have patience. So, for example, even though you may not want to wake up and go run 2 miles because your brain is telling you are tired so just sleep in, you have to pause, take a deep breath and put on those running shoes and just do it. You will thank me later.

Neuroplasticity is defined as the ability of your brain to change its physical structure and function based on the input of your experiences and behaviors. The more you repeat a pattern, the more you create the new neuronal pattern thus a new habit is formed. That is why you see so many 21-day challenges, because it takes a minimum of 21-days to form a new habit. Some will argue a new habit can take more like 3 months to form.

Let’s talk about creating good habits in three areas, Wellness, Performance, and Focus. Can you share three good habits that can lead to optimum wellness. Please share a story or example for each.

Three great habits that can lead to optimum wellness are:

  1. Being intentional with your self-care: For example, schedule time in your day just like any other appointment on your calendar for you to talk a walk, listen to music, list three things you are grateful for, or just breathe. These are great way to reset your day and focuses directly on you
  2. Don’t Say YES To Everything! Unless there is a true emergency like the house is on fire, you have 5 minutes to respond! In other words, pause and get back to someone. Learning to say “NO” is a gift to yourself.
  3. You Can Only Control What You Can Control: Stay true to yourself, be authentic and JUST OWN YOU! Lead with truth, honesty and vulnerability and at the end of the day you can only control your outcome. Can’t worry about others.

Can you help explain some practices that can be used to develop those habits?

To develop good habits for optimal wellness the best place to start is with a morning routine of 5 minutes and the two questions:

1. How Do I Want to Feel Today?

2. What Do I Need To Happen For Me Today?

Then, if you want to have coffee, journal, meditate, do yoga, that is your choice. I personally jump rope just to get my blood flowing before my cup of coffee.

Then, end your day by writing down three things that you are grateful for from the day. This does two things. First, it helps you close the day out with gratitude realizing that something good happened even if it was a really tough day. Secondly, it quiets the brain and you will sleep like a baby.

Can you share three good habits that can lead to optimal performance at work or sport? Please share a story or example for each.

I use the same three habits for work as I use for wellness above. I am a true believer that we are the same person personally and professionally, so how we wake up is the same as how we show up professionally.

Can you help explain some practices that can be used to develop those habits?

Can you share three good habits that can lead to optimal focus? Please share a story or example for each.

Optimal focus can be achieved by training your brain to really focus inward. This can be achieved by meditation, scents, body scans. Sometimes we have the best of intentions and start with the best mindset. Then something called life happens, and we need a reset. Meditation, even 1–2 mins is a great reset for the brain. A favorite scent, lemon is my favorite, is great, so light a candle or carry an essential oil if you are traveling. Getting to know your body and tuning in to do a body scan will allow you to focus to see how you feel and where you may feel uncomfortable.

All of these practices begin with taking the time to get to know you and trust yourself. It all starts with a 5- minute morning.

Can you help explain some practices that can be used to develop those habits?

I used to never be able. To quietly or comfortably meditate. In fact, I would always keep one eye open and peak, and it came down to not being able to quiet my brain. I learned to take baby steps and start small. I began in the privacy of my own home with a 2–3 minute meditation. Now there are several meditations that are routine for me that I use in the morning and evening.

Remember, it’s about creating new patterns and training our brain to accept these new patterns and turn them into habits. It’s like rinse and repeat.

As a leader, you likely experience times when you are in a state of Flow. Flow has been described as a pleasurable mental state that occurs when you do something that you are skilled at, that is challenging, and that is meaningful. Can you share some ideas from your experience about how we can achieve a state of Flow more often in our lives?

We can achieve more “flow” in our lives when we truly learn to trust ourselves and that begins with our own personal journey of self-discovery. Learning who we are; learning to fall in love with ourselves; learning our likes and dislikes and having difficult conversations with ourselves. I teach this process by starting a morning routine of 5 minutes just 2 days a week and building on till this new pattern becomes a habit (science of neuroplasticity) of 7 days a week. Most importantly, start the day with two questions:

1. How Do I Want to Feel Today?

2. What Do I Need To Happen For Me Today?

Ok, we are nearly done. You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

I want to inspire a movement of woman who realize that they are enough right here and now.

The movement would either be called the CHOICE, CHANCE,CHANGE Movement or THE JOY Architect Movement is empowerment events, education, coaching, and mentoring available internationally for women of all ages.

Through my own journey and the journeys of thousands of other women, no matter of age, color, background, demographics, I want all women to learn to trust themselves, intuition and that fear is their superpower. I want women to invest in their personal growth and not worry about the funding for that. I would like to have a scholarship fund for women entrepreneurs who are trying to build a business and invest in their development.

We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we both tag them 🙂

I would be honored to have a private breakfast or lunch with Michelle Obama. Yes, she is a powerhouse, but she is also a mother bringing up two young women. Michelle Obama could certainly help in raising funding for a woman’s scholarship fund as well through her influence put me in front of women around the world. My goal in 2019/2020 is to speak to 1 million women and with Michelle Obama’s help and support I feel like we can begin to create a movement for women of all ages to begin to invest in themselves worldwide.

Bring awareness, tolerance, change, equal opportunity and finally abundance . Teach skills to last for a lifetime.

How can our readers further follow your work online?

Website: https://RobinJoyMeyers.com

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robinjoymeyers/

Instagram: https://instagram.com/r_meyers3

Facebook: https://facebook.com/RobinMeyers.33/

Facebook: https://facebook.com/navigateandempower/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/navigateempower

TEDxTalk: http://bit.ly/TEDXRobinJoyMeyers

Thank you for these really excellent insights, and we greatly appreciate the time you spent with this. We wish you continued success.

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