Successful marriages don’t happen by accident. They happen when both parties are committed to creating a positive, nurturing, successful marriage where both spouses are valued, and validated.
This is great news for anyone who is wondering how to make sure their marriage succeeds! Although not every marriage lasts forever, there is plenty you can do to strengthen your marriage and boost its chances of success.
One of the most powerful things you can do for your marriage is cultivate a positive attitude. Let’s take a look at how a positive attitude will help your marriage succeed.
There’s a saying that attitude is everything and honestly, sometimes it can sound like a bit of a cliché. We hear you! But in truth, attitude really does make all the difference in the world.
If you harbor feelings of resentment, anger, or animosity towards your partner, it’s much harder for your marriage to succeed.
Think of it this way: If you had a friend who constantly nagged you or put you down, you wouldn’t want to be around that person very much. On the other hand, if you had a friend who was always delighted to see you and was fully supportive of you, you’d love being around that person, right?
The same is true of your partner. If you cultivate a positive attitude towards your spouse, your relationship will be closer, more honest, and more nurturing for both of you. Your marriage will become a place you want to retreat to, a space of warmth and support for both of you.
They say “familiarity breeds contempt” and honestly, sometimes in marriage that is true. When you’ve been with someone for a while it’s all too easy to focus on all the things they do that annoy you. That feeling like you’ll scream if you have to pick up one more dirty sock, or re-balance the budget after one more impulse spend? Most married people get that from time to time!
Instead of focusing on what frustrates you about your spouse, try focusing on what you love about them. Make a conscious decision to notice all the things you love about your spouse. If they have an amazing sense of humor or always support you in your dreams, notice that. Enjoy the fantastic meals they cook or the way they’re really great with the kids’ homework.
Let your partner know what you love about them, too. A surprise text or cute note tucked into their lunch will make them smile, and remind them that they’re loved and valued.
Gratitude sometimes gets cast aside when life gets busy or stressful. It’s hard to remember to be grateful for your partner when the bills are mounting up, work is hectic, and the kitchen looks like a tornado whipped through it. You’re too focused on all the things that need doing.
Train yourself to look for things to be thankful for about your partner. If they take a moment to make you a cup of coffee, cook dinner, or sweep the floor, notice it. Take note of their contribution everyday chores like taking out the trash or balancing the budget.
Being grateful to your partner can have a powerful positive effect on them. Even better, tell them about it! Make sure they know how much you appreciate them.
Celebrating together is a wonderful way to get you both focused on what’s good in your marriage. Don’t wait to celebrate the big things like a promotion, baby or new home (although those things absolutely call for celebration as well, of course).
Take time to notice all the smaller good things that happen in the normal course of a week or month. Maybe one of you got some great feedback at work. Maybe you found the perfect gardening tutorial online, and now your garden looks awesome. Or perhaps it’s as simple as finding a great pasta recipe!
We’re so used to looking for problems in life and skipping over the good stuff. Make it your business to look for all the good things, no matter how small, that are happening all the time. Then crack out your favorite beverage or make your favorite meal and celebrate them with your partner.
You can even get into the shared habit of listing three good things about every day before you sleep at night.
It seems simple, but practicing positivity and gratitude is a powerful way to help your marriage succeed, so why not get started today?