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How A Breakup Can Lead To A Breakthrough

3 Important Lessons I've Learned About How To Love From My Breakup

Hands touching each other after discovering their breakthrough

Picture this.

A girl and a boy meet. They become instant friends and eventually, best friends. 

Then one day, a magnifying pull draws them so close together that their hearts can’t help but start to dance with one another. This was love. 

But just as quickly as the magnifying pull drew them together, it all so suddenly ripped them apart, leaving the girl and boy heartbroken.

This is what happened to me. 

THE BREAKUP

I have loved before but never have I experienced the deep kind of love that I felt for him. I knew this was something different from the very start. 

He was the one that lifted me when I thought I could never get up, supported me when I didn’t think I could do it, made me laugh until I couldn’t feel my stomach anymore and most of all, loved me with everything he had. I thought he was the one. 

But then came the breakup. I was blindsided to say the least. The feeling of wanting to give it everything I had but knowing it just wasn’t enough absolutely shattered me. 

I cried and grieved for weeks. Scratch that. MONTHS

Why do breakups hurt so much? How could it be that some people even suffer from broken heart syndrome (And yes, this is a real thing)? 

But just like anything, when one door closes, another one opens. 

THE BREAKTHROUGH

People had always told me that time could heal anything. They said that everything would be okay in a couple of months once I gave it some time.

But this isn’t necessarily true.

You see, time DOES heal but ONLY if you, yourself, are actively putting in the effort to. 

You can pretend that it didn’t happen, or feel sorry that the breakup happened to you, and time will still pass. But that doesn’t mean you have healed or that you are happy again.

This only means that you have moved on, but not forward.

Once I realized this, I knew I had reached my breakthrough. 

So yes, I allowed myself to grieve. I allowed myself to cry. And I sure as heck allowed myself to feel sad about what happened. He was, in fact, the love of my life.

But once I was able to get all of those tears out after the breakup, I began to take hold of my life again. 

I didn’t want my heart to stay closed forever. I was ready to redefine love to a whole new level. It was now time to take action to improve my quality of life and here is what I learned.

#1: VULNERABILITY IS POWERFUL

After listening to Brene Brown’s TED Talk on vulnerability, my world changed. My perspective on how we interact with each other completely flipped upside down (but for the better).

Humans are highly social beings and we thrive off of interaction with one another.

But without vulnerability, there is no meaning for those interactions, leaving us to feel more empty.

If we allow ourselves to be vulnerable with the people around us, we can live a much happier life and become fulfilled with our interactions with one another. Letting down our walls with other people speaks more volumes than words do. 

But vulnerability is not an easy thing. We live in a world where opening up our hearts is a bad thing and that we should stay guarded to protect ourselves. 

Vulnerability takes courage, as Brene Brown had said. But if we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we can reach a breakthrough in our relationships with others and begin to love with our fullest potential.

#2: MINDSET IS EVERYTHING

There are some things in this world that we have no control over. Bad things will happen to us, but so will the good. 

The thing we DO have control over is our mindset and how we choose to look at things.

Our perspective is everything. If something bad happens to us, we can choose to sulk and fill our lives with sorrow from this event. We can choose to stay closed off to people who try to help us or try to come into our lives.

But we also have the power to take on the situation with a positive mindset. 

If we are able to look at the downs of life knowing something positive will come out of it, love can come in so much easier. 

We can open our hearts to let in the positive in the world and learn to love harder and even stronger than before.

Because the truth is, life is full of ups and downs. 

How we choose to ride the wave is all in our control and can power us to a breakthrough.

#3: STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF

Have you ever heard of the saying “your vibe attracts your tribe”? Well, this is completely and utterly true when it comes to love.

NEVER compromise yourself or your morals for someone else. If we were all meant to be the same, we would have no conflict in the world. 

If you stay true to yourself in who you are and how you want to be treated, genuine love will follow.

You will attract the right people into your life that will make you love harder and in different ways that you’ve never experienced before.

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