Do you know that every thought has a measurable energetic frequency to it? So does every feeling. Do you also know that these frequencies attract similar frequencies? That’s why positive people find positive people – and misery loves company. People who dwell on miserable thoughts, and therefore feel miserable, attract more grief and unhappy people into their lives. We are like magnets. The signals we send out return to us in kind. This is the law of attraction. We are always given evidence of what we hold to be true. We see what we believe. We experience what we expect. We reap what we sow. There are no coincidences. We are more than separate human beings living isolated lives. We are vibrational, eternal, spiritual beings – all connected by a field of energy – even if we don’t think of ourselves as “spiritual.”
So, what happens when we dread a holiday or perhaps even a birthday? You might know the thought – and the feeling. Oh no! Not again! I’m going to be alone, or I’m another year older. Or I have nowhere to go. Poor me. I wish this day would just go away.
And what do you know? Evidence that we are right appears everywhere. We seem to be alone, even though several friends or neighbors may have invited us over. We feel fatigued and lethargic because our neurotransmitters, body chemistry, hormonal system and heart coherence respond to our thinking. Put more simply, our bodies respond to our minds. So, of course we are right. This must be true. We have proof. And then this line of thinking might spin us into an even deeper chasm of worry and depression. Now, we start thinking there are other things wrong with us. Maybe I should see a doctor. Maybe I am sick. Oh no! What if I have…?
We all experience loneliness and doubt from time to time. I know I have. I have traveled as much as 51 out of 52 weeks during the year, spending many meals and nights alone, away from my family and loved ones. I remember treating myself to a fast-food burger in South Carolina on one of my birthdays and my youngest son started crying on the phone because he thought I was lonely. In his mind, a birthday should include friends and balloons and presents and cake. Here I was eating off a plastic tray on my way back to an empty hotel room. I assured him I was okay.
And then there was my last Christmas with my father who was deathly ill at the time. What better reason is there to be sad? Maybe even angry. My father had lost his hair and half his body weight. Yet, he was as spirited and positive as ever! Hmmm. How could that be? What lesson is there in this?
Another test for me was my first Thanksgiving alone, after my wife of 26 years left me. How was I supposed to be thankful for that? I felt broken-hearted and betrayed. My mind was playing games on me. Despite knowing about the law of attraction, and even writing about it, I could feel the temptation to be angry and vindictive. I could hear the ego inviting me to tune into an energetic frequency of loneliness and despair, like a dark and depressing song on the radio. What was I to do? How could I possibly dance with joy and enthusiasm to these holiday blues?
So, I changed the channel. In other words, I changed my mind – the only thing we have any real control over. I lit some fragrant candles. I put on some soothing music. I reflected on the wonderful memories I have. I found things to be thankful for – my health, my children, my work, my friendships, my home – even though it was now a relatively small apartment without any furniture. I even gave thanks to my wife, who was now filing for divorce. The next thing I knew, I was dancing. And I was smiling, fully enjoying the moment. I felt grateful, appreciative, joyful, forgiving and free – all aspects of Love. I wasn’t alone. We are never alone. Beyond the illusion of ego, separation and noise, there is a beautiful symphony playing, a tranquil frequency of unity and peace.
And then the phone rang. It was a call from a man I met a few months earlier at a mindfulness conference in Ohio. He wanted to know what I was doing on May 13th of the following year. I had to laugh. Did he somehow intuit that this was my 50th birthday – quite possibly another birthday I would spend alone? I told him it was my birthday and I had no plans. He said, “Good. How would you like to go with us to see His Holiness the Dalai Lama?”
I could only raise my eyes to the heavens and say thank you. Yes, joy loves company, too. I gladly accepted the invitation and later attended one of the most meaningful lectures I have ever heard. The Dalai Lama was speaking on the Heart Sutra and the wisdom of emptiness. In other words, to receive pure joy we need to release the overwhelming and heavy feelings weighing us down. We need to forgive – ourselves and others. We need to let go to let flow. This is what I now refer to as miracle-minded management. It is a shift in perception, from fear-based, dark, dualistic ego-thinking to love-based, positive, joyful thinking. Fear and faith cannot coexist in the same mind. We always have a choice in how we think, feel and respond. Miracle-minded management allows us to tap the extraordinary power within us to live life in peace, despite the circumstances. This is the power that gives us life. It is Source Energy, our Higher Self, always available and ever-present. All we need to do is let go of resistance (ego) and trust it.