I have found a deeper meaning to the simple phrase, “holding space.” There is so much beauty and magic within it. I am sure that nearly all of us have experienced dis-ease in communication in some stages of our life. In our daily conversations, many of us are simply waiting for our turn to talk or even interrupting the speaker. It reminds me of a tennis match where we as the receiver are merely preparing ourselves to hit the ball back when the speaker has finished.
Or, after we have gathered the courage to share something intimate with a friend or confidant, instead of finding a receptive listener, we ourselves may have been judged, patronized or dismissed. Unfortunately, these are common communication breakdowns, and they sometimes can drive us apart when the speaker’s intent was truly to draw us closer.
So what does it mean to hold space? It is when the listener or the person bearing witness to the speaker actively creates a sacred, safe space between people–a space where one can share openly and speak without being judged, interrupted, or receiving unsolicited advice. It’s a state of reception and witnessing in a way that is completely present, non-judgmental, trusting and authentic.
We don’t need to be a psychologist or a trained counselor to listen with total presence. By remaining totally present, we can offer a special kind of medicine for the speaker and listener alike. Not only does complete presence permit the speaker with the opportunity to speak her truth into existence, it also fosters a much more intimate connection between the speaker and listener, and, in turn, it improves the very fabric of human relations underpinning our culture.
Humans have a need to share in a safe, supportive environment that is free of judgment. The healing that flows from that kind of interaction is evident. It is well settled that feelings are to be expressed and not repressed. When we hold feelings inside, they can cause many ailments, physically, mentally or spiritually. The simplest way to express these feelings is through words. Having a receptive, non-judgmental and present listener provides the perfect invitation for this expression to happen. We are all storytellers in a way. A kind ear brings that out of us. The medicine, the remedy is already within the speaker. With holding a safe, nonjudgmental space we help the speaker to release their emotions through their words. As if we give the opportunity to the speaker to listen to themselves as they talk and find the wisdom and medicine within.
In this unusual time, which is both intimate and distancing, we all need to hold space for one another, to listen with total presence and without judgment, interruption or trying to give advice. Profound magic happens when we hold space for another human being!
Writing and creating are also some positive experiences in the lockdown. In our FB and Instagram, Yima Healing we share more!