Deciding to write a book is exciting.
But the actual process of writing can be daunting.
Creative work takes time. It is often effortful, and it can exhaust you just as easily as energize you.
It’s also likely that your commitment to becoming an author has been added to a long list of other commitments in your life – your business, family, community, and the other paths you may be on as you live your life with purpose.
It’s critical, then, that in pledging to write a book you also pledge to practice self-care as part of the process.
That means implementing self-care ideas that support you when you’re feeling overwhelmed, when you’ve stumbled up against writer’s block, or when negative self-talk is holding you back.
But it also means making a conscious decision to ensure you’re fortified even before your fingers start clacking across your computer keys.
So, though self-care is a personal matter, here are some ideas that might be useful as you build your own strategies for writing wellbeing:
Breath-work
Breath-work is one of the most effective and easiest self-care practices to embrace.
The simple act of breathing deeply can energize you, wake you up, calm you down, create clarity of mind, shift your mood and biochemistry, and aid your body’s natural detoxification process.
As a writer, you can start each writing session with a simple meditation focused on your breathing.
With mouth closed, breathe in slowly through your nose for a count of three.
Hold the breath for three, and exhale for three, with mouth open. Keep your eyes closed throughout so as to maintain an inward focus.
Conscious breathing can also help during moments of anxiety or agitation when the words aren’t coming but the deadline is! An act as simple as taking three deep breathes can recalibrate the body and calm the mind.
Boundary-setting
Setting boundaries is an act of self-care.
This can be particularly radical for women. For many, there’s already a long generational pattern of sharing resources of time and energy and putting others’ needs first.
Yet, when we consciously set boundaries around our writing time and space we’re teaching others – and ourselves – to take it seriously.
And in doing so, we edge out some of the negative emotions, like guilt, anxiety, and frustration, that often occur within us when our attention is turned away from work, family or other constant obligations.
Pause
We live in an age of busyness. And it’s easy to feel beset by looming deadlines and a growing task list.
In these times, your ability to write well – or write at all – can stall.
But here’s what to do: Slow down when the pressure speeds up.
Take a moment to soothe your racing thoughts and feelings.
Be still. Be kind.
Wellness maven, and founder of Mama Glow, Latham Thomas, calls this “the power of pause.”
t’s counter-intuitive to so much that we’ve been taught about “pushing through” challenging times or experiences.
But the truth is, productivity rarely comes from panic.
Studies have shown that, under pressure, the brain jerks into primal fight or flight mode, which is often why people experience a “brain freeze,” or feel their minds go blank when agitated or alarmed.
So, pause. Gather yourself unto yourself, and listen to what you intuitively feel you need to do next.
In her best-selling book, Thrive, Huffington Post founder, Arianna Huffington, highlights the Taoist insight: Rest is prior to motion and stillness is prior to action.
This is a good reminder that sometimes stepping away is when we find the ability to step up.
Connect with others
Helen Keller said, “walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.”
This is so true.
When we feel wrung out by writing or the lack thereof, it’s often the kind words of others that help us to get our mojo back.
So call up a friend. Or better still, connect with someone in person.
Doing this, even for a few moments, can fire up positive feelings and get you back on your writing track and feeling good about yourself.
Barbara Fredrickson, Professor of Psychology at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and author of Love 2.0, writes that a warm smile or a friendly word from another creates something called “positivity resonance” in our brains and bodies.
This involves an amazing synchronization of our biochemistry when we share a positive emotion.
Our heart rates start to slow together. And we unconsciously begin to mirror each other’s breathing and body language, all of which works to stimulate our friend’s positive emotion in our own brain.
Read
And of course, for many of us, our favorite friends are our favorite books.
Returning to a much-loved book – and not always the same one – is how I often nourish and comfort myself.
And not just when I’m battling with my own writing. But when I’m battling with the tests and trials of ordinary life too.
Books inspire. They can reassure and refresh us.
They can show us our cross to bear isn’t so difficult after all.
As Anne Lamott writes: “Books help us understand who we are and how we are to behave. They show us what community and friendship mean; they show us how to live and die.”
And they can be, above all, soothing companions during times of conscious self-care.