I read an article today that said the discomfort we’re all feeling right now is grief. *Intrigued* I dove into the piece that shared our collective feelings of loss of certainty have us all going through the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, sadness and finally acceptance.
I compared the feelings I’ve had over the last couple of weeks to the grief I lived through when my Dad passed. Huh. Funny thing. They are about the same: My Facebook video last week thinking I had nothing to “say” was the bargaining/sadness stage. My Facebook live broadcast about how to dress for productivity expressed my move toward acceptance, but between those messages were waves of emotion connected to the grief cycle. I was moving through it.
There is both power and confidence in recognizing when you’ve conquered something before. After I realized what I was feeling, I went into doing what I did the last time I experienced deep grief. It’s what I’ve been doing since the end of last week.
I want to share a few ideas with you, and maybe they will spark a way forward for you:
“Hear everything you need in silence.”
The world is loud – always – but doesn’t always hold your answer. Go quiet. Go inside. There is an ocean of knowledge and a valuable conversation that, when you have it with yourself, will show you meaning that moves you through the stages of grief. Turn down the volume of everyone else working their process and hear what you need to that will serve you.
“Create something: anything.”
A creative process requires you to tap into what’s not in your mind but in your heart. When you make something, you’re with yourself. You’re honoring your expression. Make music, make food, write, draw, paint, sew – anything. Also, release judgment about what you make. Whether it’s good or not is not the point. You’re doing it to free yourself and your feelings into something that represents where you are.
“Simply, move, and move simply.”
I’ve been Salsa dancing to a few songs every night in my garage. I’ve been walking and on my Pilates mat every few days too. “Move the feelings around” is what I was told by one of my long time mentors. It works, and when you move the feelings move around, lots of them move out (especially with music you love). I’ve even found they move into what I’m creating; new ideas flourish.
So that’s what I can offer you today. Acknowledge our collective feelings, your own individual grief, work to move the feelings, and toward a kind of acceptance that feels right for you.
Wishing you to #bewell.