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Help for Dealing With Difficult People

Q & A with Guy Finley: Our relationships with others can be a major source of stress. But they don’t have to be. Sometimes a new view of the situation will point to the resolution. Here’s some helpful Q&A with Guy Finley that can open the door to seeing things in a new way. Question: […]

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Q & A with Guy Finley:

Our relationships with others can be a major source of stress. But they don’t have to be. Sometimes a new view of the situation will point to the resolution. Here’s some helpful Q&A with Guy Finley that can open the door to seeing things in a new way.

Question: Why do people have to be so cruel to each other? I can’t begin to tell you the shock and disappointment I feel over some recent experiences. I just can’t understand why it has to be this way. Is there no such thing as loyalty or decency anymore? Why are so many people only “in it for themselves”? Is there any hope for people?

Response: As sorry as it may seem, your tale of betrayal and defeat is not uncommon at all. You would be stunned, and hopefully one day you will be, at just how sad the human condition remains, unnecessarily so. In a world where all its people know is secret fear, it’s no wonder everyone acts out their lives in secret conspiracies and twisted plots — all designed to bring about a security which is destroyed (from within) the moment they begin to conspire. But here’s the real answer for those of us who want a Higher Life. Leave the dead to bury the dead. We have, as I know you’re beginning to understand, more important work to be about.

Question: First of all, I want to thank you. You’ve really made me see certain mistakes I’ve been making, and I’ve been working hard with these ideas. But I’m not strong enough yet, and now that I’m going through this awful divorce, I can’t seem to control my reactions at all. I want to be true to the noble way of life you describe in your books, but then I find myself acting like an idiot. With the trial coming up, I’m afraid something will be let loose in me that I really don’t want to see. My husband knows how to push every one of my buttons, and I don’t think it would be right to let him get away with what he’s trying to do. How can I be true to the higher, when everything low in me is screaming for revenge?

Response: Nothing makes me happier than to hear of someone who, in finding the Truth, knows that she has also begun to find herself. This is what all of us are here for: to rediscover, as it were, our True, Original Life — the One which has its beginning in Spirit. But, having “found” this new direction, and walking in it, are two different orders of our existence — as your letter tells me you are in the process of finding out. The question of how do we stay true to this higher life in the face of those events that seem mean and low is a natural one, but unfortunately, the answer has to be reached through trial by fire — and I’m not referring to what awaits you in court!

The trial by fire, regardless of appearances, is always the same one. The only thing that ever troubles us in this life is the demands we’ve placed upon it. I will offer you a lesson in the form of two questions I recommend you put to yourself daily.

First, does it make any sense to light myself on fire because someone else, anyone else, insists on burning — for whatever reason? Second, if someone else is on fire, already burning with mental and emotional flames, what need do I have to punish that person further, or to show that person the error of his or her ways, especially when all he or she wants to do is burn? Be as True as you know how, do what’s right without burning, and get on with your real life. You can’t have what’s new and cling to the old.

Letting go of ourselves is the trial by fire, the den of lions. We must do what’s true even when we are sure it spells the end for who we’ve always been. Do it! You’ll get the help you need to succeed. This is Truth’s Promise.

Image courtesy of: Photo by Icons8 Team on Unsplash

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