Divorce is synonymous with, heartache, depression and is said to be the number two, most stressful life event any person has to endure. Although statistically and even for me personally going through my own divorce this is true, there are many ways we can choose daily to make divorce healthier.
The most useful and readily available to all, is in the divorcees mindset. Every divorcee daily has control over how they react and think about things concerning their newly divorced life.
Here are some of the healthy mindsets you can implement before, during and after your divorce.
1. Be grateful- not always the easiest especially if you feel hard done by, or unfairly treated by an ex. The average divorcee though has a lot still to be grateful for, simple things like, health, housing, food and of course our precious children, we should be daily thankful for.
2. Focus on things gained- not lost by divorce, try to focus on all the new opportunities and possibilities divorced life brings. You are free to travel where you wish, eat what you want, date who you want, the world is yours to explore and enjoy, and when you shift your mind to this, divorce can be even quite exciting.
3. Self care- divorce oddly usually gives us more time to focus on ourselves, and our own needs, no one can pour from an empty cup, so where possible you should be using and rejoicing at this time to practice self care. Take that bubble bath, go for a walk, eat healthy, do yoga, whatever it is that soothes your body and soul, now is the time to do it.
4. Let go-do you know how empowering and exhilarating it is to let go, to release all anger, to feel forgiveness of your ex and yourself for any transgressions during a past marriage. When you change your mind set to forgiveness, you have just saved yourself months or years of unhealthy emotions attached to your ex, and you can move on in life, content and free from anger, which has to be a huge win for us all.
5. Realize the only control you have is how you react to divorce, this mindset in itself can cause a shift to feeling more in control and empowered, even when dealing with wayward exes. They only have the power to hurt us if we let them.
6. Exes are exes for a reason-if you are one of the few people who still are in love with your ex and or hoping they go back to you, the healthiest mindset you can engage is to remember that your ex is your ex for a reason. They either did something unforgivable, or chose to leave, either way they showed you instantly their true colors and nature and why would anyone wish to be with anyone, who doesn’t wish to be with them. Practice huge daily doses of self love, until you really comprehend this point. You deserve better, and are enough, once you really feel this to be true, you won’t want your ex back ever.
7. By far the healthiest mindset you can implement is the belief that things will get better, and there will indeed be a new brighter, better life for you after divorce. This is the belief that I built DreamsRecycled on. In our darkest hour it is hard to see or even believe, but if you can hold that one beliefand keep it close to your heart through the process, you will not only survive but THRIVE after divorce.
The divorce process is certainly not easy on your psyche, but with daily positive thoughts, mindsets and actions, we all truly can divorce healthier and happier.
For more on Tiffany Ann’s story My Dreams Recycled