Head, wall, bang.

Finding the point of it all – 1 part joy, 4 parts smashing walls

Photo by Gareth Harper on Unsplash

Joy doesn’t come until after the fact. Until you’ve chosen the path you want to follow and choose it time and time and time again.

I rarely plan my blogs a week in advance. Why? To capture the messiness, the uncertainty and the frustration that takes up most of my life right now. It’s taken me four years to figure out what I want to do with my life and now I can choose a path of smashing my head and hope to forget it all or a path of continuously trying and trying (and fucking trying some more) to get through each damn wall. Pivot? From a brick wall to a steel wall, what’s the difference? Pass me the bazooka.

Shouldn’t I be writing an inspiring post to my ideal client who’s trying to figure out what’s meaningful to them? Shouldn’t I be shouting about delusional optimism like I was only a week ago?

Nope. Because realistically speaking, yes your passion will drive you forward, but you better be prepared to go uphill, through gunk and smacked in the face repeatedly. If you’re not prepared to go through it, then you merely have a hobby.

I’ve trained myself to recycle my frustrations into writing – to yank out my anger into black and white before it festers into an imploding rage. A rage that boils at words of solace – ‘it’s their loss’, ‘something will come up’. FFS!




In time the ‘supervising adult’ knocks gently – ‘What are you annoyed at? What expectations are you holding? How realistic are they?’ It always come back to unmet expectations. Do you live a simpler life with smaller expectations or aim sky-high and fall short a few (or a gazillion) times?

Confidence doesn’t come until after the fact. Until after you’ve pushed yourself in a nerve-wracking situation.

Joy doesn’t come until after the fact. Until you’ve chosen the path you want to follow and choose it time and time and time again.

Smashing walls? Yup, business as usual. Now find a window to open.

Keep growing with free tools and inspiration!

I want to keep growing!

Originally published at

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...


Slow Down To Do More: “Why Watching A Soap Opera Can Start Your Day Off Right” With Ashley Graber and Ali Boone

by Ashley Graber M.A., LMFT

9 Ways to Surrender Into 2019 and to Dissolve the Wall Blocking Our Creativity

by Dr. Mara Karpel
Work Smarter//

Finding Your Passion Isn’t The Answer

by Alessandra Wall Ph.D

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.


We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.