(originally posted on fashion blog ‘Behind the Seams of Ferrajean’ in February)
From personal experience, I have always viewed confidence as something that is beyond my reach. Being a naturally shy person, I prefer to stay in the background and get anxious if I am asked to speak up. However, in the past year I have realised that using my voice shouldn’t be something that I am afraid of, and that having confidence shouldn’t be impossible.
Since I have began working for Ferrajean, social media has become a bigger part of my life. In some ways it has been a good thing; I have been inspired by other accounts who are on missions to spread positivity and it allows me to connect with people from all over the world. On the other hand, there are constant comparisons between other people’s appearances and content, and who looks or is perceived as ‘the best’.
People who are influenced by social media can begin to compare themselves constantly to the people around them. This can then lead them to feel insecure and guilty about not fitting into a socially accepted mould. Confidence is no longer something for yourself, but something that pleases other people. However, if you are dressing and acting for the pleasure of other people, you will eventually find that you are no longer in control of your life.
Depression and anxiety go hand in hand when you feel as though you are spiralling out of control. Whether social media or other factors are making you feel like your life is no longer yours, I want you to remember these two things.
Number 1: Breathe
When everything feels out of control, take some back by focusing on your breathing. Anxiety increases your heart-rate to a sometimes overwhelmingly high-frequency beat and focusing on slowing your breathing down can help reduce your anxiety. Find a space where you can be alone and just focus on inhaling and exhaling. By shifting your focus, your mind won’t be continually dwelling on what has made you anxious, if only for a little while.
Number 2: There is always a way
A situation may seem impossible to get out of. A problem may seem unsolvable. At the time of feeling extremely anxious or depressed you will feel as though there is no way out and that you are going to feel like this forever. But I am here to tell you that there is a way out. It may not be easy or fast, but there is a way and you should focus on the fact that there will always be a way. The purpose of terrible things happening in life will not be clear to us when they happen, but, I have found, the reason for many things plays out later down the line. So focus on yourself and your well-being, and eventually you will find a way.
As this post comes to a close, I would like to mention that I am not a qualified psychiatrist and my advice comes from personal experience. But I am here to talk to, if anyone feels a loss of control or motivation. Not only do I want this blog to thrive with ‘behind the scenes’ content, but I also want it to be a platform to share my voice and help others.
This time last year, I didn’t think that I would have the confidence to post on a blog or even be part of a fashion brand, but if your confidence comes from yourself and is for yourself, it is no longer scary.
In the past year, I have pushed myself to do things that scared me. I have travelled to Scotland and France alone and organised a 4 day trip to Paris with my best friend. I have participated in my apprenticeship training classes and a few debates. All of which I did because they were for me and not to please someone else. I used to put unnecessary pressure on myself based on what I think other people expect of me but once I took control of my life it became easier.
So I leave you with a sneaky behind the scenes photo of a new piece from Ferrajean, starring yours truly (doing an impression of the dancing woman emoji), to show that even the shyest people can have confidence in themselves.
From FJ Marketer, Abby x
Originally published at behindtheseams.blog