Community//

HAVING AN OURS BABY IN A STEPFAMILY-EXPECTATIONS VS REALITY

I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who’s dream was to become a stepparent. Having children and a family – YES! But being a stepparent – no. Over the years, I’ve talked with many stepmoms who wanted children of their own, to know what it’s like to have their own children. For most, it’s was […]

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Community stories are not commissioned by our editorial team, and though they are reviewed for adherence to our guidelines, they are submitted in their final form to our open platform. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Having an ours baby

I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who’s dream was to become a stepparent. Having children and a family – YES! But being a stepparent – no.

Over the years, I’ve talked with many stepmoms who wanted children of their own, to know what it’s like to have their own children. For most, it’s was a dream since they were little girls, to hold and nurture their own child.

Unfortunately, that’s not always the case for every woman who desires to start their own families.  There are women who deal with infertility issues, something they weren’t aware of before being in a committed relationship. For others, their partners aren’t receptive or open to having more children. 

For myself and Bernard, we had long conversations about adding another child to our family. In the end, we felt it wouldn’t be a very logical decision in our situation. We didn’t want this child to be born with a job of merging our families together. And so, we never had an “ours” baby.

In The Stepfamily Summit , I talked with Heidi Farrell about what it’s like having an “ours” baby and some of the challenges they faced. She shared her surprise at the reaction her stepkids gave them at the news of having a stepsibling. It’s wasn’t at all what they expected.

Later, I had a conversation with Laura Petherbridge on the topic of the Childless and Childfree stepmom. One of her points was on the importance of having the conversation up front and at the beginning of the relationship about whether to have children or not. I’m glad that we did this, not that the decision wasn’t easy of fun.

If you’ve been having thoughts about having an ‘ours’ baby and wondered where to start or what to talk about, these two interviews will definitely give you some great insights and advice on where to start.

The summit starts on September 16, which happens to be National Stepfamily Day. It’s a 3-day event that you can attend for free. Looking forward in having you join us at www.TheStepfamilySummit.com

Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Community//

5 Myths About Stepfamily Life

by Gayla Grace
Community//

Why stepparents shouldn’t judge other stepparents

by Lori Sims
The biggest challenge of becoming a new parent - Kristine Peter
Community//

How I Overcame the Biggest Stressors and Challenges of Becoming a Parent

by Kristine Peter

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.