I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who’s dream was to become a stepparent. Having children and a family – YES! But being a stepparent – no.
Over the years, I’ve talked with many stepmoms who wanted children of their own, to know what it’s like to have their own children. For most, it’s was a dream since they were little girls, to hold and nurture their own child.
Unfortunately, that’s not always the case for every woman who desires to start their own families. There are women who deal with infertility issues, something they weren’t aware of before being in a committed relationship. For others, their partners aren’t receptive or open to having more children.
For myself and Bernard, we had long conversations about adding another child to our family. In the end, we felt it wouldn’t be a very logical decision in our situation. We didn’t want this child to be born with a job of merging our families together. And so, we never had an “ours” baby.
In The Stepfamily Summit , I talked with Heidi Farrell about what it’s like having an “ours” baby and some of the challenges they faced. She shared her surprise at the reaction her stepkids gave them at the news of having a stepsibling. It’s wasn’t at all what they expected.
Later, I had a conversation with Laura Petherbridge on the topic of the Childless and Childfree stepmom. One of her points was on the importance of having the conversation up front and at the beginning of the relationship about whether to have children or not. I’m glad that we did this, not that the decision wasn’t easy of fun.
If you’ve been having thoughts about having an ‘ours’ baby and wondered where to start or what to talk about, these two interviews will definitely give you some great insights and advice on where to start.