We are already a month into 2019. How in the world….?!
How’s it going with those goals and intentions you set for yourself?
I’ve been talking to a lot of people lately who are feeling overwhelmed; feeling like they just can’t do it all. Feeling disappointed in themselves, being hard on themselves, feeling discouraged.
First of all – if this is you, give yourself GRACE. Change is hard. It takes time and there are going to be so many bumps along the way.
In this new episode of the Change by Choice show, I tackle this topic a little further and dig into how we can be ambitious and have big goals and so many things that we want to do, but without losing ourselves in the process. Listen here.
I am a super ambitious person – I’m a High Performance Coach, a single mom, an entrepreneur/business owner, business consultant, spin instructor and the list goes on and on. I could easily get lost in all of that; I could easily allow myself to feel discouraged by every bump in the road or everytime I make a mistake or something doesn’t go the way I’ve planned. But this is about so much more than just my goals and my to-do list; this is my LIFE. And I’m in control of my happiness, my peace and my mindset.
First of all, I couldn’t do what I do without having certain systems, habits and disciplines in place. And not only are they in place – they are dialed in nearly 24/7. I keep an organized schedule, I prioritize my to-do list, I set reminders and time block all of my tasks into my day. Those systems are critically important if you want to be productive instead of just being busy – you know the feeling, spinning your wheels and putting out fires all day but not actually accomplishing anything. For more on those systems, check out this past blog.
What I want to dig into today are 3 deeper things I do to help me get a lot done – the things that help me have such high ambition in my life but here’s the key…how I do it without LOSING MYSELF in the process.
My life is busier than it’s ever been; I’m doing more and accomplishing more now than ever before. But I feel so peaceful, aligned, happy. I don’t feel overwhelmed or stressed (most of the time). Even on the bad days, I have worked so hard to not be hard on myself when things don’t go according to plan. Even when I don’t reach my goals or if my results aren’t at the level I was hoping for – I don’t let that derail me completely.
Before I dive into the 3 things that really help me, I want you to take a minute to reflect. Where are you at with your ambitions in life? Do you set goals? Do you procrastinate? Are you the person who is very clear on your goals and the results you want but your sense of identity and worth is so connected to those goals that when you don’t reach them, you are tremendously hard on yourself? Or maybe you’re the kind of person who has no goals? You’re just going through the motions of life and living the status quo?
Or maybe there’s something deep inside of you that wants more, but you are lacking in clarity and just don’t know what the next steps are? Wherever you are at – see how you can start to implement these 3 strategies into your life.
1 – White Space
If you are keeping yourself so busy that you have no time to pause, think, reflect and make connections as to what’s really going on in your life – you’re just going to keep spinning those wheels. Give yourself enough white space in your day just to BE – to think, listen to yourself, journal and reflect. This is where you get clarity as to what’s going on for you – why you’re not reaching your goals, why you’re feeling a certain way, why there’s tension in a certain area of your life.
You need to explore those areas. In my white space time, I really listen to my body. My body tells me when something is not aligned or something isn’t right. I allow myself to feel what I’m feeling; I observe it without judgement. It’s not meant to make me feel bad or guilty or judgemental of myself. It’s information that I can use to move forward.
But you’ll never gain that information and that clarity unless you give yourself the white space to actually explore and listen.
2 – Self Care
How we look at the world and the situations that happen to us is based on how we feel about ourselves, what we’ve gone through and how we feel on the inside. This is why self care is so important; if you don’t treat your body and mind properly then things are going to feel harder than they need to. With strengthening your mindset, it allows us to look at every situation without immediately jumping to the negative; we can look at it and move forward in a really positive way.
Here’s an example. You have an off day; something doesn’t get done or you didn’t get the result you wanted or it just didn’t go as planned. If you’re not feeling good about yourself, if you’re not taking care of your physical and mental selves, then the easy path and the instinctual path is that you’re going to head into a really bitter place. You’re going to either place blame, feel angry, be judgemental and really hard on yourself. You start an internal dialogue that sounds like “I knew I couldn’t do this”, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not worth it”, “look at all these other people succeeding but I can’t”.
When you’re in a really healthy state and your self care is on point, how you see and think about that bad day is totally different. By strengthening our mindset, we can look at that bad day and think “Okay. Today wasn’t great. How can I do better tomorrow? What do I need to do right now?” It allows you to look at every situation as a lesson and an opportunity for growth.
Here’s where the white space comes into play again; you give yourself some time to analyze the situation and figure out what derailed you and what you need to do to move forward in a positive way.
That is all based on how you take care of yourself and where your head is at in terms of your mental strength and mental clarity. So often, people get to a place where they just quit because they can’t handle those bad days, the ups and downs, the rejection and the way they allow themselves to feel about themselves throughout the journey.
3 – Live in Gratitude
You should feel great about yourself throughout the entire journey – not just on the good days or when you reach those goals. That’s like saying you only love your children when they’re well behaved; that’s ridiculous. Love yourself and enjoy the entire process because this is your LIFE.
How do I do this? I live in gratitude and I am in healthy control of my life.
Everything that comes into our lives can teach us incredible lessons…IF you allow them to. I am so connected to a deeper purpose and I truly believe that everything we are handed in life is there for a reason. Sometimes, we learn that lesson instantly. Sometimes, that lesson takes years before we really understand why we had to go through the things that we did. But the lesson always comes.
That’s why I have such gratitude for every moment in my life. I give thanks for each moment – even the shitty ones. Because through the worst moments is when you learn the most important lessons and is when you really grow the most. That’s how you learn what you need to change, who you need to let go of or what you really need to add into your life.
My goal for you is that in 2019, you get the tools, clarity and support you need to feel free. Regardless of what may be going on around you – I hope you feel the freedom that you’re in healthy control of what’s going on inside of YOU. It’s not about controlling the external or falling victim to our circumstances.
Start moving forward with some changes that will actually be long lasting. Let’s stop with the superficial stuff and going for the quick wins. Dig deeper in the process and I promise you you’re going to feel different, you’re going to BE different and your results are going to be elevated. You’re going to be able to have high ambitions, reach those goals without doing so at the expense of your family, your health or your mental well-being.
For more, come join our monthly coaching program, The EDGE Insider. For details, head here: https://charlotte-ferreux.mykajabi.com/p/theedgeinsider