Many people think there is a single magic wand for success. Unfortunately, there isn’t; the only recipe for commendable achievement in life and business is to know what you are doing, why you are doing it, and what outcomes you expect to obtain from it.
It is very important to get you to start thinking about what deeper motives are behind your sundry actions. To succeed in life and achieve your goals, you need to know WHY you want what you want. And not only that, you must have a BIG ENOUGH reason for pursuing it. If you’re not motivated or haven’t followed through in the past, it may be because you need to DREAM BIGGER!
Here is the caveat: If you want something really bad, you should consider it a non-negotiable goal(s), not just something you’d “like” to do… because it’s not a preference… it’s not even a dream… it’s a MUST!
Always Ask the Greater Question
Asking the greater and more profound question can open doors to better experiences and accomplishments in every area of your life. I’m asking you to dig deeper and make sure you have a true understanding of the REAL reasons you want to reach your goals. I am going to show you an example of how I helped people get to the core of their true motivations. When I am having a session with clients, I’m not looking for the obvious or surface-level reasons: I’m pushing them to go deep!
A person I was coaching some time ago said, “I can’t wait to go home and start using these efficiency techniques to make my work more effective and productive.” I asked what may seemed like a silly question: “Why do you want to be more productive?” The response was that it would help her to get a promotion at work. I then asked her why she wanted to be promoted and she said, “So I can get a raise.” Next question: “Why do you want a raise”, and she said, “Because I need the money to buy a larger home”. So I asked, “Why?” and she said, “Because I want my mother and sister to move in with me”. “Why?” “Because it has been our dream to co-own a big house and live together as a family.” Success to her was being able to provide for her mother and sister!
“Good, NOW you have identified what you really want. It’s a large house with your family living with you. You don’t really want to be more efficient. What you want is the experience of having your family living with you,” I concluded.
A large number of people go through life ill-prepared and directionless. What is responsible for all the chaos people experience in their work, marriage, school, and society at large? It is the failure to identify the primary reasons behind what they are doing. Nowadays, we have people doing the jobs that they hate; we have students pursuing courses they do not have an iota of interest in; we have people falling in love with the wrong people because they simply have no idea why they are doing it.
Three Things to Do When You Are Out-of-Tune with Life
If you find it very difficult to know the WHY behind every of your actions, taking these seven important steps may pull you out of the funk you have unfortunately found yourself:
- Take a deep breath: Understand that where you are at the moment in your life is not the final place you should be. This will give you the impetus to dream bigger and plan for something better.
- Assess your current state. Sit down and calmly assess your current status. Ask yourself, genuinely: What resources, skills, power, courage etc. do I have to get out of this uncomfortable circumstance (s)?
- Ask for help. Having realized that you are incapable of changing your situation all by yourself, do not hesitate to ask for help. A mentor or coach may help you discover the opportunities that you are unable to see around you.
Reflections
- Pursuing a goal is a good thing, but how do you usually know that it is the right thing to do?
- What are your REASONS for doing what you are doing today? Are you fully aware that the reasons behind your current actions will create the beautiful future you are dreaming of?
- How do you stay focused on the REAL MOTIVES behind your pursuits in life?