Life as we know it does not always go to plan. We are born literally bright eyed and untainted by life and experiences. With socialisation and those we are around, we gradually build walls and learn to live within them. For the lucky, from the beginning you understand that you are limitless and live without fear.
With growth and development you learn that you cannot control everything. You will struggle with things that you wish were different but they just aren’t and they will never be. Here are some truths that are hard to swallow but to live a more fulfilled life you will have to learn to accept them.
You cannot fix everything.
Good and bad things will happen to you. The awake and the centred will tell you that all that is bad is a mere lesson. You will learn that you cannot fix all your relationships, that you cannot talk others into sobriety or even love an estranged loved one into accepting you. Certain things are just the way they are. If you are in the habit of journalling, when you read back your thoughts and experiences, patterns emerge. These patterns show you times you should have accepted certain conditions but you did not and therefore ended getting hurt. It is obviously easier said than done to accept things the way they are but practicing letting go through whatever calms you down be it meditation or exercise gradually allows you to live a life free of toxic patterns and makes for a peaceful existence.
You will lose friends
As you grow older, you will lose friends. What they never tell you is that this is ok and it happens. Humans evolve, their interests evolve and this means that friends who you were extremely close to in the passed may no longer serve you best. This is not a bad thing, it merely means that evolution calls for change. You will sit and wonder why or how someone you spoke to everyday, no longer speaks to you. There was never a disagreement however you just “grew apart”. This is ok. New friends will come along or you will learn to nurture your remaining relationships.
Self improvement never ends
As one grows older, life and experiences mould how you react to things. If you react in your best interests you learn to avoid things that hurt you or make you uncomfortable. In growing and evolving, you soon learn that there is no end point where you suddenly become the most peaceful, successful, self aware human that ever existed. Life being life means that there will be numerous obstacles along the way regardless of how much you improve or change. You job is to remain connected to your true essence no matter what happens.
You only have one life
There are multiple quotes on grabbing life by the horns because you only have one and living in the moment. Life is a gift, each of us has something we are good at. To live it wallowing in our negative experiences and in sadness is an injustice to the gift we are given. Live every day with the awareness that you are lucky to be alive and that you can use the time you have to make a difference and add value to your life and the life of others. This doesn’t mean plotting to become a millionaire (which is a respectable dream to have) however simply being kind and doing the best in the spaces you inhabit suffices for mere mortals. If you died today, you can rest easy knowing you spread love not hate.
A good attitude pays
As humans, we are somehow programmed to view life as an uphill battle. Everything is a struggle, if you ask someone how they are, chances they will sneak a negative remark in their response. The top favourite being a complaint about the weather. Even when things are not going well, something is going well. You may be ill but you are surrounded by a brilliant support system, you may have failed at business but you learned resilience, you may suffer with anxiety but you practice being calm everyday. There is always something positive to focus on. A constant focus on the negative breeds a negative attitude. Look for the good in every situation and in everyone you meet, it is simple. There are people you know who are always happy, and you have probably complained about how happy they are. Surround yourself with people who radiate light and who make you happy.
Life happens and you cannot change everything however accepting truths about the nature of existing makes for a happier existence. It takes a long time to accept your life the way it is especially when you have experienced a lot of hardship. Stand firm in the belief that although things will happen, you have control over how you react to the circumstances you are dealt.