At this point, I’ve written about the kitchen bar conversation a hundred times (at least that’s what it feels like).
For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, the quick version goes like this: after years of burnout, I sat at the kitchen bar with my husband, Mr. Weisman, and told him I had to quit medicine.
Rather than pull his hair out, he dropped two extremely important pieces of wisdom 1) The world will always need doctors, so I can always go back to medicine and 2) Don’t quit right now, give it 6 months so we can plan.
Yep, I knew there was a reason I married this man. I still use his second piece of advice with my coaching clients to this day.
We have a whole podcast segment called “Married to an Alpha Female,” devoted to talking about our partnership and how he advocated for me and supported me through burnout.
For our Father’s Day episode, Mr. Weisman answered some questions about what it’s like being married to and raising kids with a physician-life coach who escaped early career burnout.
Q: What did my career journey teach you about yourself?
Mr. W: When you worked a traditional medical job, in an office, there was never any question of where we stood financially. But money didn’t really buy anything that was that we really enjoyed, you know? The happiness part of our relationship didn’t come from financials. It came from being around each other and being in a good mood around each other. And if one of you is depressed all the time that doesn’t really make for a great relationship.
And so, I learned that I need to make my own personal sacrifices for my wife to make sure that she gets to do some of her own things and enjoy some time to herself and do the things that are gonna make her feel good and be happy just because, you know, you’ve really got to share. I need to step up to the plate and make sure that you get a chance to recharge your batteries as well.
Q: Do you think that was something this journey taught you or do you think you already knew that?
Mr. W: I think it emphasized it more. I already knew it, I believe. I mean, I think that I’ve always been pretty decent about trying to help out around the house and help out with the kids and stuff.
It’s just that I think that it was pointed out more to me. Hey, you know, especially once you have kids, I mean, golly, it’s an all hands on deck thing and you need everybody helping and it cannot be a one person thing.
And, you know, whenever you were not happy, you were not healthy. It really made it hard with the kids. And when you are happy and healthy and you feel good and you’re rested, and you’re in a good mental state, it makes it so much better at home. I think it’s just a thing that I didn’t see the importance of it so much until it turned around.
Q: What does it mean to you to be a Happy Daddy?
Mr. W: I look at it more as a function of how the house is running, you know, and it just makes you feel good whenever I come home and, and I say, “Hey, how’s your day”. And you look at me and say “Pretty good,” and you smile.
I can tell that you’re feeling good and that the kids are behaving – or maybe, maybe they’re just acting like normal and we’re just able to handle or tolerate or look at from a viewpoint of a better, from a better standing on a little better ground.
I think it’s, it’s more of just being a happy spouse, being a happy member of the family. Knowing that things are going well at home. You know, it’s how I look at it. My family is just very important overall and it means a lot to me.
Tune into our podcast episode to hear the rest of his answers.
Deciding to quit my full-time medical career and take the risk of becoming an entrepreneur was rough. There were so many factors to the decision, not the least of which was keeping food on the table for my family and managing the crazy student debt from med school.
But being a Happy Mommy makes life So. Freaking. Good. Not just for me, but for our whole family. Forging my own path has given me the time and energy to watch my husband be a Happy Dad.
More than that, my kids get to grow up knowing each of us. They get all the silly, quirky moments and inside jokes, all the accidental swearing and mess-ups, and all the love that comes with having two parents that are fully present. Money can’t touch that.
To my husband and all the other incredible dads out there: Happy Father’s Day!