THERE IS NO SHORTAGE OF FOLKS WHO MIGHT SAY BOSSES CAN BE DIFFICULT.
But there might be more to consider.
If you struggle with your boss, a co-worker you can’t get along with, or if there is someone else in your life who frustrates you on the regular, I have some interesting data that may help you start to forge a new, more effective strategy for dealing.
Statistically, about 87% of human thoughts are negative. Pair that with my anecdotal observations as a certified Career and Money Breakthrough Coach over the last 14 years, and I find about 80% of a person’s career challenges are actually (at least in part) due to their own unexamined habits and patterns… NOT other people or external circumstances.
WHAT THAT MEANS IS, SADLY, WE ARE LIKELY THE MOST CULPABLE PARTY IN OUR MOST CHALLENGING CIRCUMSTANCES.
But hang tight before you start shaking the blame finger at yourself.
While this is probably tough to hear on the one hand, it’s actually good news because it means we can change our experience by modifying our own thoughts and behavior. Making the effort is well worth the extra satisfaction and productivity you’ll gain.
REMEMBER THESE ARE “UNEXAMINED” HABITS AND PATTERNS.
That means we engage in them unconsciously. We often don’t even see the patterns that cause us the most angst, which is why our initial reaction is to blame someone else.
But blame is not the objective. Resolution is. Transferring blame from another to ourselves does not bring us to resolution. It simply perpetuates the problem by adding more negative thoughts.
Take an honest look at your personal habits that may be leading to undesirable consequences in your life. See if you can find the reasons why you are engaging in these habits. They may have served you well at some point when you were younger, and now they are simply habits that are no longer serving you. Or perhaps you are still getting a payoff, but it’s no longer worth it.
WHATEVER THE CASE MAY BE, FORGIVING YOURSELF IS A VERY IMPORTANT SECOND STEP IN THIS PROCESS.
It is necessary so you can move to the next step, which is self-advocacy. One of your most important jobs is to become your own best advocate (and no that’s not the same as ego). Practice talking to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend. How would you advise, support and encourage your friend if they were in your shoes?
YOU GO FROM POWERLESSNESS TO STANDING IN YOUR INTERNAL PERSONAL POWER WHEN YOU TURN YOUR FOCUS FROM BLAME TO SELF-MANAGEMENT.
Standing in your power is acting from a place of your truth and authenticity while truly trusting and believing in yourself. And people in your life, and even prospective clients, crave authenticity from you! Just as others know when you are putting on a facade, they also know when you are being real with them.
Authenticity is attractive. I would even say it’s a super power in some circumstances! That’s why working on your personal growth is a great way to increase your revenue.