Confidence cannot be bought.
It’s not in your designer handbag or favorite shoes.
Its not in how many likes your social media post gets or how many followers you have.
It’s not in how much money you get paid.
Whilst something external to us can feel great, it’s not sustainable. We have no control over it, which ultimately leaves us feeling unsafe or insecure.
Real confidence comes from us.
It’s a self-created deep belief that we are
good enough, we are worthy and we matter.
Not everyone had a loving stable upbringing where self-confidence could be created and nurtured. Many of our patents struggled with cultivating self-confidence too.
But that doesn’t mean we can’t change it. All of us can learn to be more confident.
The best way to do it is by doing something that challenges us.
All of us have a ‘comfort zone’ that place where everything is safe and vanilla. Many of us hang around in this zone too often.
When we get out of this state and into something that is scary and challenging. We grow our confidence muscle.
Nothing compares to that feeling of
accomplishment of getting out of your zone of comfort.
You’ve done it yourself; you’ve taken the leap of faith.
Sometimes literal if you’ve ever done a sky dive!
Of course it doesn’t have to be as big as that.
Although, I highly recommend it. It’s one of the most terrifying yet exhilarating things I’ve ever done.
However there is one caveat. In order for this to work it needs to be a challenge that is related to your ‘why’, you ultimate goal.
Otherwise you wont be motivated enough to do it when it gets tough.
And it will.
Without a reason for the challenge, you will find it very difficult to fire up that courage needed to follow it through.
I use personal challenges as part of my program in my transformational retreats.
For example last year In Mauritius I took the girls to swim with wild Dolphins.
Even if you are a strong swimmer, jumping into the middle of the ocean surrounded by wild creatures is not for the faint hearted.
But I knew they’d do it, because I’d
already found out their why was strong enough to see the challenge through.
And wow what an amazing result they had. They were so fired up with the feeling of self-achievement, the humbling natural experience and inner pride that they’d done what they were scared to do.
It’s truly transformational.
Quite often before you do a challenge you may feel a huge sense of doubt.
It may be visceral in your body, fast heart,
sweaty palms, nausea, dry mouth.
Or it might be your brain questioning, “Do I really need to do this it’s not going to make that much of a difference is it?”
It’s all part of the process. But this is just fear. Your brain is trying to protect you.
But remember this. If it were easy it wouldn’t bring the huge rewards of self-confidence.
Daily challenges are great too.
Like having that difficult conversation with someone, instead of the usual avoidance, is a great example.
Even your exercise routine can help. This year I decided to up my fitness and confidence so I started CrossFit. It’s amazing for both.
The more we can challenge ourselves the
more we grow, the better we feel, the more authentic confidence we have.
The best way to start is straight away.
So what’s one challenge that you could do right now and get those confidence muscles flexing?